TVSquad

Tonight's episode of our favorite traveling circus of star-makers made a pit stop in New York, where the freaks were out in full force, and more singers made it through to Hollywood than any city yet this season. No one seemed to know exactly how many people showed up to audition, but the stadium was at capacity so we got the point. That brought back a few memories and had me wanting to give out sympathy votes for what these guys are going through on national television.

I waited in line outside the Aloha Stadium in Honolulu for a couple of days, alongside thousands of people singing their lungs out, trying to prove to anyone who would listen that they were the next American Idol. Sometimes I get so caught up in the who's who and what's what of it all that I forget I was actually a part of it. I know what it feels like to stand in front of Paula, Randy and Simon, waiting for them to give you the thumbs up or down. It pretty much sucks. It's probably the same feeling as hanging your balls out the window. I've never done that one before, though, so I don't know.

Every second of every day during that whole week, just thinking of Idol made me feel cold, clammy and numb with nerves. I knew that at any moment I could be sent back to Idaho with a lot less money than when I started. Plus, I was looking at that audition as the one thing I'd do in life to say I gave the music business a shot. I'm pretty sure that if I hadn't gotten a golden ticket -- well, a yellowish piece of paper -- to Hollywood I would have gone home looking for a nine to five and I knew I'd wake up 40 years later wondering where all the time had gone. Yeah, you could say there was a lot of pressure.

So, when I'm sitting at ease at home, eating lasagna on my Beatles Candlestick Park TV tray and wonder why people like Nakia Claiborne break down and say "I wish I could change their mind," it's easy for me to understand. These are their dreams, man. Still, if you're not good, someone's gonna tell you sometime. It's just painful to watch.

In the way of a quick recap for the rest of the night, I've grouped the show into two categories. First, my favorites; second, the dear-God-in-heaven-please-deliver-popular-music-from-the- clutches-of-TV-ratings-and-three-large-frightened-incestuous-proprietary-record-labels-and-one-large-radio-monopoly category.

My Favorites:

Ian Benardo. Not because he was good or wasn't annoying, but because he chose to wear a chinchilla to show off his "verifiable" superstardom. Awesome.

Ashanti Johnson. Not really for anything she did, but for the producers who by adding music turned her monologue into an Oscar winning moment.

Isidora. Because after all the promos on her audition I was laughing at how I'd seen all the funny parts already in the teasers.

The dear-God-in-heaven-please-deliver-popular-music-from-the-clutches-of-TV-ratings-and-three-large-frightened-incestuous-proprietary-record-labels-and-one-large-radio-monopoly category:

Everything else. I thought there were some good voices and talented people and lots of unfortunates who landed themselves on TV for public ridicule. It just wasn't my cup of tea. I blame the people with money.

[Jon Peter Lewis was a contestant on the third season of "American Idol." He has just released his debut album, "Stories From Hollywood." Visit his Web site, jonpeterlewis.com.]

Click here for more 'Idol' news, photos, recaps, rumors and more.