Let me preface this entry by stating clearly that I am a fan of American Idol -- it makes for great water cooler conversation. But, I have to say, after two hours of sob stories and that "duh da, duh da, duh da" theme song, I'm slumped over in my chair wondering what the barrel of a gun would feel like in the back of my throat. It was a really long night for me.
I was pretty stoked to hear "Baba O'Riley" in the opener of the show ... classic song ... I've always thought the editors of AI had good taste. It seemed almost poetic for them to stick a tone-deaf cowgirl waving her hand around like Christina Aguilera at the top of the Minneapolis, Minn. episode. Like they have something to say about the Midwest... I don't know, I like the Midwest, but that is a lot of stereotypes encapsulated in one shot.
The judges haven't changed much -- actually I take that back. Now that I think about it, Simon seemed to have lot more smiles and winks than I can remember him having ... at least on camera. I suppose now he's being more like himself than a caricature. Randy didn't throw in his usual catch phrases and was a lot nastier than normal. Paula hasn't changed much. That leaves us with Jewel. She probably could have stood to grow a pair and say a few more things other than "Can you please skip me on this one?" Then again, somebody probably paid somebody a lot of money or slept with somebody to get her there, so maybe she didn't want to screw things up.
So, let me sum up my thoughts on this episode by giving a list of do's and don'ts to would-be auditioners. Don't ever use someone's song if that someone is in the room. Don't beg, don't leave your audition if it's going badly and don't come back. Don't forget your words, don't give lame excuses for your voice giving out, don't quit your job, don't wear costumes, don't do impersonations ... especially not of the Lion from The Wizard of Oz ... especially if you're a girl ... not flattering ... and don't ever call yourself a crack baby on national television. I don't have too many do's, I suppose ... Do I have to even be saying this? ...?
I did like the guy who won the competition on his ship. That seemed pretty real to me. Like some guy who after winning that was like "why not?" and gave the actual competition a whirl. I wasn't really wowed by his voice but it wasn't bad and the back-story didn't seem like it was contrived to give him political points. That girl who was in the reserves had a nice voice too and seemed pretty fun. I also liked the Crack Baby's voice -- lots of power. But, I was sitting in an auditorium in Pasadena when I heard Jennifer Hudson first sing and I've never heard anyone like her before or since. So, CB will have to bring more to the table than just power to impress me.
All in all this doesn't do much in the way of giving me hope in this new crop of singers. I keep telling myself it's only the first one, though, so I'm banking on them saving the best for last. I know it's a singing competition and what not, but since these are the people that are getting record contracts and selling millions these days I would really like to see someone with some originality and talent pull through and win it this year. Someone that will keep me from writing in my notes "somebody shoot me now."
[Jon Peter Lewis was a contestant on the third season of "American Idol." He has just released his debut album, "Stories From Hollywood." Visit his Web site, jonpeterlewis.com.]
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
1-17-2007 @ 11:07AM
Emily said...
Here is a "don't" but not for the hopeful auditioners.
DON'T tell someone they sing "really good" when they suck or you will be seeing one of your loved ones blubbering and cursing profusely on national TV.
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1-17-2007 @ 11:35AM
Nadine said...
Last nite was sad. Too many people thought they could sing and they could not. The back stories should be limited until they get into the top ten. I hope too that there are better singers coming up or this will be "AMERICAN FLOP"
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1-17-2007 @ 1:36PM
frances said...
Are you kidding me? Paula was a trainwreck last night. She hardly spoke and when she did it was nothing but slurred speach. I do love Paula and blame the actual TV station for airing that with her in such condition.
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1-17-2007 @ 11:44AM
Nancy said...
Relax everyone, it will get better. American Idol is almost the only show I watch. I vote too. I am a 54 year old grandma and we took one of our granddaughters to the American Idol Tour in Aneheim in Aug. It is an awesome show. If it bothers you in the beginning, wait until the top 20, then it gets really good.
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1-17-2007 @ 12:01PM
Rabbit said...
Jon, I am an old broad so I apologize up front for not knowing who you are. I only became hooked for the first time last season. That being said, I agree wholeheartedly with your assessment and I agree with Emily's additional "Don't" listed above. I wrote a comment on the earlier blog written by Liz Finn-Arnold, pretty much in line with your feelings about the show. Although, I didn't mention "what a barrel of a gun would feel like...", but that is only because I am not terribly quick witted. I will say if I were a nail biter you would have found them ground down to the nubbins by 9:45 p.m., maybe earlier. Tonight's episode needs to be in line with what we know and love about the audition part of the show or else this old lady will be back watching the cable sex shows remembering how life used to be for her. This is a plea to the AI producers, please spare me that sad fate. And, as a side note to the webmasters here, Jon should be writing the blogs and recaps for this season. You will find a lot more interesting feedback if you can convince him to do it. He is funny and insighful.....
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1-17-2007 @ 1:05PM
Kirby said...
Also, keep in mind that 17 people got tickets, most of whom we didn't see. I think the producers intentionally keep some of the really good ones in their back pocket for future episodes.
I wish they spent a lot less time on the post-failure crying fests - I just Tivo past those. I have enough scheudenfraude to be amused by the terrible singers and the judges telling them the awful truth, but not quite enough to want to watch them break down afterwards.
The one girl that I thought had a lot of promise was Sarah Krueger. (I used to date a girl named Sara Kruger, so the name is super easy to remember for me.) We'll see what horrors my home city of Seattle infects upon the world tomorrow night. (I'm not in it - I know I can't sing a note.)
I do prefer the second half of the show, once we're done with the "what's wrong with people" phase.
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1-17-2007 @ 1:09PM
Mike said...
We love Idol, but the premier was a bomb... too much time on boring contestants and it just kept dragging on and on. I realize that they don't want to show the good singers and want to focus on the folks they embarass and make fools of so we all can laugh at them, but please limit the amount of time spent on losers... boring!
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1-17-2007 @ 1:43PM
Lyrik said...
I agree with Emily up there, wholeheartedly!
I think the reason America gets so ticked at Simon Cowell is because in America, we can't tell our American children they suck! It would hurt their self-esteem!!! But parent, c'mon! There's a fine line in believing in your kids and steering them in another direction, (ie, the mother who told her juggling son he'd be famous...he was famous alright! For all of 15 seconds!)
I don't mean to be harsh, but I agree with JPL and the others who thought last night was lonnng and boring. Let Simon tell your kids what you don't have the heart to tell them! Don't quit school, don't quit your job, and for GOD'S SAKE, keep your singing between you and your shower!
(I love the auditions, by the way, and you have to give these kids' credit...even if they suck, they have more ballz than I'll EVER have!!!!)
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1-17-2007 @ 1:48PM
Kira said...
They are letting the bad auditioners go on and on, and that slows the pace of the show waaay down. They used to cut em off quick and get on to another. Thats funnier and much faster paced.
However, the funniest thing about last night was "Its the other door," that Simon had to tell ever contestant leaving.
BTW, great job JPL, I loved your review!
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1-17-2007 @ 2:40PM
Jackie said...
It's great to see your posting here, Jon. I enjoyed your time on the show. You made me smile then with your performances, and now you've made me smile with your writing. Simon just didn't know you were a multi-faceted performer, huh? Great advice for the ones going on the show and I'm interested to see more of your takes on the show as the season goes along.
As for last night's show itself, it wasn't my favorite season opener. I wrote about it in my own blog - http://jackiestvblog.blogspot.com/2007/01/american-idol-6-minneapolis-auditions.html and thought even the "Notable Odd Ones" weren't as notable as some in the past.
Hey, but none of them danced like you! Best of luck to you in your current endeavors!
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1-17-2007 @ 2:40PM
"Gidget" said...
Jon, you freakin' rock! That is a great blog entry. I didn't know you were going to be doing this and I am a "regular" on your site. *taps head* Anywho....Loved your thoughts. Can't wait for more. :)
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1-17-2007 @ 5:08PM
Lacey said...
I'm not an idol fan really, though Jon I have to say I did watch the season you were on, and that's the only time I've ever voted, and i was VERY sorry to see you go...and stopped watching that season when you left, lol
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1-17-2007 @ 6:06PM
Fran said...
Emily, you hit the nail on the head. I felt so bad for the 16-year old who juggled and cussed out the door when he was rejected. Clearly he's been encouraged to pursue his "talents" by parents who are either tone-deaf themselves or just didn't want to tell the kid the truth...that he can't sing. I hate to see the young kids leave so dejected though.
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1-17-2007 @ 6:25PM
Mary Sheehan Winn said...
I think the show's getting a bit old.
The judges don't have the freshness to sit through such incredibly awful singing. Who encourages some of these people?
Also, the humiliation factor was too strong for me last night. I surfed throughout the entire show.
I'm waiting for Dancing With the Stars to come back.
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1-17-2007 @ 7:31PM
Kat Okon said...
Well gee JP that was up lifting...
I'm glad to see someone else like the reserves girl too. Does she have the best voice? Maybe not, but her personality does suggest that she can bring more into the "world of entertainment" than most other choices they had shown.
As I was watching last night, I couldn't help but think "please dear god, don't turn this season into the ‘my heart bleeds for you‘ ". I think why most people get into this show is because they are watching as people with true talent take off into their beginning stages of stardom. Watching because we like the uplifting effects the show can have on us. Just like watching a comedy for that really good laugh that you just need right now.
As for your sanity Jon, (and for those of us who still plan on watching this season to its end) I hope you are able to stomach tonight. Lord knows, for those of us who are a fan of your own music, we would be really disappointed if you ever stopped making music because a T.V show caused you such deliria you felt the need to blow your brains out. =( LoL yes I realize it is a joke. ;)
*Hehehehe* By the way not like such a statement makes you sound any less emo. Maybe just me but I really do enjoy your cattiness. Your blog is a good read, I can't wait to see what you will say about tonight.
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