TVSquad

(S01E03) Sharks eating their brothers and sisters while still in the womb? While a great metaphor for what Lucy is doing to her now combined staff, I could have done without that footage from National Geographic. It was like one big snot devouring another pile of snot. Ugh.

Moving away from that image, talk about a great episode. If you're not sold on Dirt by now then you probably shouldn't be watching it anymore. The magazines are combined, the staff is on edge, and Lucy is beyond nervous about the debut of "DirtNow."

But it all worked out because Don cut his finger off.

First thing I want to talk about is Holt. I love how they're developing his character. Anyone notice how they show him looking in a mirror a lot? Despite his undeserved success, Holt looks like he's deteriorating. Everything is working out for him as Julia's career falls apart. Then to top it off? More hints that Holt and Lucy will be getting it on -- he followed her advice when dealing with his new agent.

The whole Don "dating" Kira thing is getting beyond creepy. In his head, he's already gotten her pregnant. But I still love how he narrates the "previously on Dirt" segment. It's absolutely hilarious when he talks about past events from his perspective.

We also got introduced to two new characters. Leo (Lucy's gay interior decorator brother) and Garbo, drug dealer to young Hollywood. Coincidentally, it seems she plays for the other team too and that her and Julia may have had something. Hard to say though because Garbo seems like a bit of a flirt anyway.

Other stuff I loved:

• Keeping with the "everyone in Hollywood is gay" theme, we also got introduced to Jack Dawson. He's the reigning action star. Think Steven Segal or Arnold without the terrible accents. Well, Jack got involved with Leo. So it's only a matter of time before Lucy finds out about that and puts her brother in an awkward position.
• Cosmo the Pitch Ball. Hilarious.
• The story of Aundre G. and how Lucy blackmailed the details out of Prince. Rick Fox, by the way, is actually a pretty decent actor. Who knew?
• Lucy still ended up all alone with just her magazine in her huge mansion. Great way to close out the episode.

Now as I mentioned, Don cut off his finger to get into the hospital where Connie Criss, christian rocker, was being held. She lit her face on fire while free basing. The headline with Don's photo? "Connie Crisp." Anyone else feel uncomfortable while laughing at the misfortunes of others? Well if that doesn't do it for you, Lucy's reaction should have.

Lucy (after seeing the Connie Criss photos): "I think I just came a little."