(Writers Note: This post is not about something I hate ON the television, it's about a particular type of person I hate that is caused by the existence of television. It was hard picking a category for it, so I went with the one I did.)I was an English major in college. If you ever get the chance to be an English major, do it! It opens so many doors to your future: with your English degree you can teach English! Or, also, starve!
Being an English major, though, brought along with it one major annoyance: wannabe intellectual types who felt that since they read Keats or whatever, they were somehow better than the civilians who enjoyed Melrose Place or The X-Files.
A quick story to illustrate my point: my junior year, I was sitting in the lounge of the English building discussing some finer points of TV trivia with one of my friends. A bearded (he was nineteen, but he had some serious Uncle Jesse action going on) hipster type sat down next to us. I recognized him from my classes as the "guy who always raised his hand and said something that looked smart, but in reality was just speaking nonsense and because the teachers are all touchy-feely English types, none of them have the heart to tell him how stupid he was sounding". You know that guy. Of course you do.
Anyway, he was sitting next to me and my friend at right around the same time I was asking my friend my favorite trivia question (what was the Skipper's real name). As my friend pondered the answer (Jonas Grumby), this is what the bearded one says to me:
"Oh. You're discussing television."
Me: "Yeah."
Beard Guy (slightly pompous): "Hm."
Me (slightly annoyed): "You don't like TV?"
Beard Guy: "Well it's just that... it's just that..."
(He ruffles around in his backpack, bringing forth a copy of Light in August.)
Me: "It's just that what?"
Beard Guy (showing me the book): "It's just that, it seems such a waste of time! Faulkner is my TV."
It's at this point that I set fire to his beard and pushed him through a plate-glass window. Well, not really, but it's what I wanted to do.
I would have been all right with that statement had it been 70 years ago and had it not been said with the implication that somehow TV is worse than Faulkner. A lot of it is, but there's some stuff that I'd put right up there with Light in August.
The problem is that Beard Guy is not alone. Not a single day goes by -- especially online -- that I don't see someone smugly claiming to "not watch TV."
Somewhere along the line, watching television became cultural shorthand for being a stupid. Thus, for wannabe intellectuals, not watching television is the best way to prove to everyone that you're intelligent. Saying, "I don't own a TV" implies a life of Shakespeare and smoking jackets.
Except, here's the thing: Shakespeare was the television of his time (insofar as it was wildly popular and easily accessible by the masses). Seriously. His theater was on the wrong side of town, next to bear baiting pits (a sport that I fully expect Fox to revive before the end of this decade). The intellectuals of the day looked down on it as something vulgar and common. Shakespeare was filled with unnecessary sexual innuendo and broad, bawdy comedy -- I mean, it really was Two and a Half Men of Verona.
The reason why Shakespeare has a reputation for being intellectual now is simple: it's hard to understand. Same thing with all forms of popular culture that were once the province of the masses that are now the province of bearded wannabes. Guys like Dickens, Twain, and Wordsworth look great crammed into a Barnes and Noble bag because it's a lot harder to understand them than a new episode of House or The Sopranos.
You have to wonder how they would have shown their superiority during the times when those authors were actually part of pop culture rather than culture with a capital C. Would they have preferred Shakespeare when Dickens was writing? Homer when Shakespeare was popular? Cave pictographs when Homer was reciting?
So, if they can enjoy Shakespeare so much, why is it that "intellectuals" can't enjoy popular culture? Because they're being pretentious.
It's not to say that everything on television is worth while (I can't stand Greys Anatomy and I think that everyone working at MTV needs to be brought up on charges of war crimes), but television itself is the most worthwhile medium in the history of man.
Sure, there's a lot of crap floating around out there, but there's always been crap. When we read English anthologies, we see the best of the best. When we watch television on a nightly basis, we see 75 NEW hours of programming EACH night. And the next night, we see 75 MORE hours. So, the quality ratio is going to be a lot lower on TV versus the anthologies, but it doesn't mean that there isn't greatness to be had.
The Sopranos, Curb Your Enthusiasm, The Simpsons, Battlestar Gallactica, The Wire -- these are the building blocks of tomorrow's anthologies. As ridiculous as it sounds, these will be studied with the same zest as all the other bits if pop culture that have transmogrified over the years into actual culture. (As a former English teacher, I can also make the prediction that those far future kids will be just as resistant to it as they are to everything else. "Awwww, do we have to watch The Simpsons again? When are we ever gonna need this stuff!?)
Anybody that's ignoring this simply because they want to look a little smarter than their neighbor is being willfully ignorant to their own culture. And that makes them a stupid-dum-dum-head.
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
1-11-2007 @ 3:41PM
Curt said...
Yes indeed, but don't even try to bring up the point of Shakespeare being the TV of his day, because those snobbish bastards are so close-minded, they don't hear you.
And Shakespeare may seem daunting from the outside, but it really isn't hard to get if you spend half an hour with someone who can teach you to decipher it. As an actor, Shakespeare is the easiest thing to momorize because it IS so well written.
He was the Aaron Sorkin of his day.
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1-11-2007 @ 3:47PM
David said...
AGreed. I have a kind of friend that goes... "I don't want to much TV, I'm too busy, and TV shows now are bad, yadda yadda..."
He then started listing like 5-6 shows that he loves and always watches. That's more than me. It's annoying when people think because they don't watch TV they are better than everyone else.
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1-11-2007 @ 3:51PM
Eliah Hecht said...
Oh my fuck, thank you. I am printing this post out and keeping it in my pocket whenever I go out.
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1-11-2007 @ 3:52PM
Scott H said...
Thanks for a well-written post (which I agree with completely) that's outside the usual news-tidbit/episode review cycle of most "TV Squad" posts. It's a refreshing and welcome change.
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1-11-2007 @ 3:52PM
MissPinkKate said...
I agree, people "too good" for TV should be shot.
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1-11-2007 @ 4:01PM
kerry said...
It's entirely possible for someone to not enjoy TV and not be a pretentious jackass. It's not just about whether or not you like the programs, there is something about sitting in front of a box and being bombarded with advertisements every 7 minutes that turns some people off, so they don't watch tv. They like movies, and maybe they'll watch the programming on DVD, but the whole sitting-in-front-of-a-tv part actually sort of sucks.
(for the record, I love TV and watch a ton of it. I just know people who don't like watching TV and don't think they're trying to make some statement, they just, you know, don't like it. Kind of like how I don't enjoy bubble baths. I'm really more of a shower person. I'm not trying to make a statement that all people who like bubble baths are morons, or that I'm somehow better for liking showers. I'm just stating a preference.)
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1-11-2007 @ 4:08PM
Tucker said...
Similar trends are present in music listeners (I had a friend who refused to listen to any music created after the 1920s, for instance), and even within TV watchers themselves (someone already mentioned the "TV is terrible 'now' argument). It's just a fact of life that snobby people will always be snobby. The really sad part is they somehow twist this extreme closed-mindedness into what they purport to be worldliness and open-minded, liberal thinking.
It's really insulting - I hear it all the time with music. Just because I happen to enjoy the occasional 'gangsta rap' going on about hoes and gats or some finely-crafted heavy metal whose lyrics consist of "blaaaaarrrhhhhggghhh!!!!" doesn't mean I don't also enjoy Bach, Mozart, crooners of the '50s, fine jazz, etc. I mean, look at jazz right there - back in the day, jazz was evil, and corrupting the youth and whatnot - nowadays that same music is studied and volumes are written analyzing it. The Beatles were evil, destroying kids' minds with their long hair. Look back at those Ed Sullivan clips and they look like total nerds by today's standards.
Like I said, people who are snobs are just snobs. And you know what? They don't know what they're missing - and I'm just fine to live my life without their input.
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1-11-2007 @ 4:30PM
las6 said...
Hey, I don't "watch television" or even own one. I do watch a bunch of good tv-series, thanks to the wonders of the internets.
But there really is a difference in watching tv (=channelsurfing)and in actively seeking and then watching only what you want to watch.
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1-11-2007 @ 4:35PM
J said...
I hate these people, but I also hate the converse -- people who don't read.
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1-11-2007 @ 4:43PM
Ryan said...
Amen. But you're definitely preaching to the choir.
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1-11-2007 @ 4:48PM
Will said...
I hate how condescending those people are.
I love TV, but at the same time, I like to do things other than watching TV.
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1-11-2007 @ 5:24PM
Emily said...
Jay you hit the nail on the figurative head! My sister has her master's in English and was one of those "I don't watch TV" snobs for a long time. My husband and I rolled our respective eyes at her and went along our way.
Then it finally happened. She was over at our house at the wrong time - Thursday - Survivor night. We watch it in real time when it is on. She railed about TV in general then reality in specific. Then she started paying attention, asking questions, appeared truly interested. Long story short - she is now a Survivor and American Idol junkie. Now, I get to feel smug.
Whenever your hear an Anti-TV snob start saying that "I don't watch TV" crap, just remind yourself "...it is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing." Wm Shakespeare
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1-11-2007 @ 5:24PM
ryan said...
I couldn't agree more. what's even worse is the person who claims to never watch tv because they don't have time, but just so happened to catch the episode of svu where "that guy from la law" set the "woman from er" on fire, and every other water cooler moment that's happened on television in the last week.
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1-11-2007 @ 5:25PM
Miranda said...
Yes!! I so totally agree with you. Watch TV, don't watch TV, whatever, but don't act all smug about it. The people who just HAVE TO inform you that they don't own a television if you make the slightest mention of anything TV-related ... they should be slapped. A lot.
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1-11-2007 @ 5:34PM
TuckerKatt said...
Well said. You nailed it with "Somewhere along the line, watching television became cultural shorthand for being a stupid."
I think the most important point is that while there is a great deal of garbage on TV, there are also many great shows, both educational and entertainment oriented.
Another thing for the Cultured Bearded Snobs to consider is that some people know when they're watching bad TV, but it's a guilty pleasure. I suppose it's possible for someone to actually consider a show like Grey's Anatomy or The O.C. to be quality programming, but a lot of people who watch these shows know they're bad, they just like watching. It's sort of like smoking...nobody considers it a good habit.
Also a good point by las6 about channelsurfing (ie intentionally being lazy and wasting your time) and actively seeking out particular shows (preferably recorded or downloaded so as to zap the ads).
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1-11-2007 @ 6:20PM
libragirl said...
I know someone who doesn't watch tv. Except she does, she buy DVD's of tv shows and watches them. THAT'S STILL TV Argh I hate that. You sound stupid.
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1-11-2007 @ 6:23PM
Christina said...
Hear Hear! I for one am a grad student, specializing in Shakespeare and his contemporaries, no less, and I think pop culture is incredibly important. My dissertation will explore some of the ways in which Renaissance drama *is* pop culture. And I love TV enough that I'll probably do some academic writing about it, as well. I think the two fields are pretty near allied.
If my experience grad school are any indication, this kind of snobbery among the intelligentsia is dying away. That may not stop some of the intelligentsia-wannabes from putting Shakespeare on a high culture pedastal, though; what they don't realise is that today's high culture was often yesterday's pop culture, and Shakespeare is the biggest example of this. Furthermore, Shakespeare only really achieved his status as The Bard through the marketing of David Garrick, an 18th Century actor. But I digress.
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1-11-2007 @ 6:42PM
Jackie said...
Y'know, I like you. I was an English major in college, too. I love to read. I love to watch television (dependent on the show, of course). I even love many reality TV shows on an observer of people sort of basis. And, I like to think I'm an intelligent person.
You should have defenestrated him. I don't use the word "defenestrate" enough and it certainly fits!
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1-11-2007 @ 6:47PM
ggm said...
I had a friend for a long time who didn't watch TV because he didn't have one. He wasn't against TV. He just made a decision to do other things like play computer games and the like. He finally got a TV a few years ago. He mostly uses it to watch DVDs (of TV) I belive. If you watch DVDs of TV on your PC is that considered watching TV? Just a thought.
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1-11-2007 @ 8:23PM
MrWeen said...
I prefered Kimmy Gibler's beard.
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