As president of the Sean Hannity Fan Club, I am thrilled to announce that Sean Hannity's new hour-long, live program for Fox News will be debuting this Sunday. Hannity's America will include an in-depth feature story, debates with liberals, and interviews. I will be selling busts of Hannity made out of nuts and chocolate in celebration of this new show, and will also be constructing a giant replica of the conservative pundit out of old mufflers. Actually, they'll be mufflers I steal from cars in the parking lot, resulting in a cacophony of unmufflered engines serving as a noisy salute to Hannity.
One of the segments of the new show will be "Hannity's Hot Seat" in which he asks a liberal five "yes or no" questions. Hannity said he was sick of people never giving him a straight "yes" or "no" answer to his questions. I have to agree with Sir Hannity, I'm really sick of people who try to put thought into their responses. Can you imagine how much more convenient life would be if we all followed his example? Weddings would only last a few seconds:
Minister: You guys wanna be married?
Bride: Yes.
Groom: Yes.
Minister: Okay, you're married.
My suggestion to liberals who might be asked to appear on the show is to train a donkey to appear in your place. Just teach it to tap its hoof once for yes and twice for no.















Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
1-05-2007 @ 8:02PM
SW said...
How would we tell the donkey from the host?
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1-05-2007 @ 8:07PM
David said...
You don't, they are both asses.
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1-06-2007 @ 2:42PM
Justin said...
I'd love to see this douche on Colbert.
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1-05-2007 @ 9:24PM
Adam said...
I'm glad to see that this article wasn't the least bit biased against Mr. Hannity. Just thought I would carry on the sarcasm of this poor example of journalism.
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1-05-2007 @ 11:39PM
CPR said...
My concern is that the donkey wouldn't be able to understand the questions, so its answers wouldn't make any sense. I guess the donkey would be conservative.
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1-05-2007 @ 9:58PM
mathmonkey said...
Wow, Adam. That was the straw that broke the camel's back around here for me. I'm all for poking fun, and I'm no fan of Hannity or many of his views, but you guys are just ridiculous. I don't expect this kind of stuff on a TV blog. I'll be sure to let your sponsors and AOL know that you folks are taking political positions on a blog about TV.
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1-05-2007 @ 10:39PM
Denism said...
C'mon guys!
The Hannitys and O'Riellys of the world are such obvious caricatures of self-aggrandizing blowhards that they are begging to be made fun of.
Practice some critical thinking and lighten up!
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1-08-2007 @ 11:00PM
Holly said...
Unfortunately, Adam, your article, Hollywood and the liberal press is the problem with America today. Only one side of the story is ever reported, as the reporter and / or agency has a political agenda, is biased and the balanced truth is always sacrificed. The whole story is never told or expressed to the public at large. It takes a lot of work to get the total story.
Thank goodness for Sean Hannity!
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1-05-2007 @ 10:44PM
Adam said...
Mathmonkey,
This wasn't a political statement, it was an anti-Hannity statement. Since I can only speak for myself, I want to make it clear that I always write in a humorous and sarcastic style. It doesn't matter if I'm writing about Sean Hannity or Fred Flintstone.
I think too many people take any post that pokes fun at someone like Sean Hannity or Bill O'Reilly as a slight against all Conservatives and Republicans, but that just isn't true. Again, only speaking for myself because I'm the only one I can speak for.
You have every right to do whatever you wish, but don't make assumptions about my political views just because I poke fun at a certain pundit. The truth is, I'm not much of a Michael Moore fan, either. My opinions aren't black and white, and they do change from time to time.
Also, to address the comment about this post being bad "journalism:" this is an opinion blog, not a newspaper. We're bloggers who write about TV and give our opinions on it. That's why we have comments, so people can agree or disagree.
Best,
Adam
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1-05-2007 @ 11:29PM
phats said...
when did conservatives become so touchy? maybe a payoff will make them happy
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1-05-2007 @ 11:30PM
Sam G. said...
Seriously, if you hold Hannity and O'Reilly up as conservative gods, you are fools. George Will, Tony Blankley and Brit Hume (among others) are far more intelligent - and watchable - than those two fools. I don't understand how conservatives can keep defending blowhards like Hannity when there are actually people on TV who defy caricature instead of exemplify it.
Anyway, it should be noted that Hannity's first show is going to feature none other than Cindy Sheehan. So chew on that.
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1-05-2007 @ 11:46PM
Greg Bowen said...
You guys must understand, these guys will talk the talk of the man who is paying them. At the moment, Rupert Murdoch, the Austrialian billionaire is pulling the strings of his puppets, Mrs. O'Reiley and Mr. Hannity.
If, when their contracts are up, or they do or say something that displeases the Master, they will gladly sell their services to the next highest bidder and change their whole agendas. Thats what people who sell themselves to others do, whatever the buyer wants or pays for.
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1-05-2007 @ 11:38PM
Squeegis said...
If you don't agree with Shawn Hannity he completely disses you. I find him rude and arrogant and have stopped watching him. He is just another pawn for the far right and does not admit that.
I now watch Glenn Beck and find him thoughtful, compassionate and extremely bright!
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1-06-2007 @ 12:18AM
Oscar Betournay said...
WHY I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER!!!
The Democrats new promise "A New Direction For America".
The stock market is at a new all-time high and America's 401K's are back.
A new direction from there means, what?
Unemployment is at 25 year lows.
A new direction from there means, what?
Oil prices are plummeting.
A new direction from there means, what?
Taxes are at 20 year lows.
A new direction from there means, what?
Federal tax revenues are at all-time highs.
A new direction from there means, what?
The Federal deficit is down almost 50%, just as predicted over last year.
A new direction from there means what?
Home valuations are up 200% over the past 3.5 years.
A new direction from there means, what?
Inflation is in check, hovering at 20 year lows.
A new direction from there means, what?
Not a single terrorist attack on US soil since 9/11/01.
A new direction from there means, what?
Osama bin Laden is living under a rock in a dark cave, having not surfaced
in years, if he's alive at all, while 95% of Al Qaeda’s top dogs are either
dead or in custody, cooperating with US Intel.
A new direction from there means, what?
Several major terrorist attacks already thwarted by US and British Intel,
including the recent planned attack involving 10 Jumbo Jets being exploded
in mid-air over major US cities in order to celebrate the anniversary of the
9/11/01 attacks.
A new direction from there means, what?
Just as President Bush foretold us on a number of occasions, Iraq was to be
made "ground zero" for the war on terrorism -- and just as President Bush
said they would, terrorist cells from all over the region are arriving from
the shadows of their hiding places and flooding into Iraq in order to get their
faces blown off by US Marines rather than boarding planes and heading to the
United States to wage war on us here.
A new direction from there means, what?
Now let me see, do I have this right? I can expect:
The economy to go South
Illegals to go North
Taxes to go Up
Employment to go Down
Terrorism to come In
Tax breaks to go Out
Social Security to go Away
Health Care to go the same way gas prices have gone
But what the heck!
I can gain comfort by knowing that Nancy P, Hillary C, John K, Edward K,
Howard D, Harry R and Obama have worked hard to create a comprehensive
National Security Plan, Health Care Plan, Immigration Reform Plan, Gay
Rights Plan, Same Sex Marriage Plan, Abortion On Demand Plan, Tolerance of
Everyone and Everything Plan, How to Return all Troops to the U.S. in The
Next Six Months Plan, A Get Tough Plan adapted from the French Plan by the
same name and a How Everyone Can Become as Wealthy as We Are Plan.
I forgot the No More Katrina Storm Plan.
Now I know why I feel good after the elections. I am going to be able to
sleep so much better at nights knowing these dedicated politicians are
thinking of me and my welfare.
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1-06-2007 @ 1:04AM
David said...
Phats, they became touchy after they lost.
And Oscar Betournay, I was gonig to be nice and debate every point you got wrong until I read this...
"The Federal deficit is down almost 50%, just as predicted over last year."
So I'm gonig to be a rude ass, you are a dumbass that doesn't know it. You are a fool that doesn't do research and doesn't question the lies.
Sure the deficit is down 50% (I don't know if it is, I haven't checked for this year), it's down 50% from an all time high that was double the yearly record deficit. The deficit is over 8 trillion dollars if not higher, I lost count. Since Bush has come into office that is DOUBLED!!! Bush added 4 billion PLUS dollars to the countries deficit. We spend 10 million dollars an hour fighting in a pointless war in Iraq. It is a pointless war, it has down nothing put make more terrorists and take attension away from Afghanistan where the terrorists who attacked us are. In 10 years when America is nuked because a terrorist got a bomb from North Korea or Iran, I and much of the country, will look back and see that it's Bush's fault millions are dead. He has wrecked our army like no other man. If we have to fight a real war to really defend ourselves we can't because the dumbo in command of the armed forces is too busy spinning the Iraq CIVIL War!
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1-06-2007 @ 1:18AM
Joebediah said...
Oh goodness Oscar. Do you copy and paste that at even the slightest hint of political debate?
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1-06-2007 @ 1:36AM
B. Beahm said...
Mr. Betournay (#12),
Thank you. The wisdom of your comments is very
refreshing. I will be able to sleep much better for
one more reason after the elections....Someone
somewhere is sleeping much better for the same reasons
I'm sleeping much better! Must admit though, the
wild eyed look on Nancy P.'s face does concern me.
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1-06-2007 @ 1:38AM
Jose said...
Hannity is an intellectual lightweight and an embarassment to anyone with conservative views (as Olberman should be to liberals).
As someone said, there are plenty of intellectuals on TV who carry the conservative mantle very well. Just listen to Charles Krauthhammer or the WSJ editorial report. Those guys are all brilliant and articulate.
That being said, there is plenty of trash on TV far worse than Hannity's show.
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1-06-2007 @ 1:59AM
Holly said...
Now I know what I WON'T be watching.
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1-06-2007 @ 3:46AM
erroneous_nick said...
Whether they're spouting liberal views, conservative views, or trying to sell us the latest gadget we simply cannot live without, it always seems that the ones who get the most attention are the biggest buffoons and disgraces to their causes/professions. It's a sad thing to realize, but our society today seems to be drawn to "clowns".
The soft-spoken, intellectuals just don't seem to be interesting to the majority of our population, hence we snipe and insult and argue over politics when we're really getting worked up over caractures trying to disguise themselves as news reporters, crusaders, analysts or whatever title they try and pass themselves off as. Our airwaves and political offices are filthy with these hucksters and "the public" is eating it up.
I say all this knowing full well I'm as bad, or worse, than anyone when it comes to jumping into a political argument. Having said that, there are plenty of people who like to try and instigate these little tiffs and you know who you are, Bob.
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