I like things that are comfortable. I like my old shoes and the vague outline off my (ever-widening body) crushed into my favorite chair. Like a lot of guys I have t-shirts that are so old and well-worn that they're one lightening strike away from becoming sentient (and that's my SciFi Channel movie idea, so don't steal it). In short, I like the familiar.Say what you want about TV, it does the familiar very well. From catch-phrases (just what was Willis talking about?) to genre-conventions (let's all freeze while the credits roll!) TV is America's comfort food.
What is my TV comfort food? The five after the jump...
(A quick note before we begin, this list is consciously designed to look at the smaller things. Things integral to what TV is -- like good ole fashion mindless violence and gratuitous T&A -- are hopefully understood to be things I'll never get tired of seeing and thus not needed to be listed.)
1. The look on House's face when he finally gets the diagnosis. It happens every single episode -- House has tried forty different combinations of drugs I've never heard off, injected the patient with paint thinner, and used a new treatment out of Bavaria that involves lizards and a laser, but the patient is still sick. At the same time, whatever the "life story" of the episode is (House's ex is mad at him, a cop is mad at him, Cuddy is mad at him, Cameron is mad at him, etc.) it's reaching a head. Someone starts to yell at House and what they say triggers an idea. We know that House has an idea because he sort of looks past the person talking and gets this weird look in his eyes. Even though the writers of House have used this technique approximately four million times, I still get excited and turn to my wife and say, "I think House has figured this one out!" It should be noted that my wife hates me.
2. The sound in Alex Trebek's voice when someone wimps out on a Daily Double bet. A lot of people give Trebek flack because he's so condescending when someone gives an incorrect response ("He's got the answers right in front of him!" a comedian from 1989 might say as he rolls up the sleeves up on his sports jacket). I've always been of the opinion that a) after reading those cards for 20 years, Trebek probably does know a lot of the answers and b) he's WAY more condescending when someone gives a weak bet on a Daily Double. Just listen the next time the third place loser hits the second Daily Double in "Great Mechs in Anime History" late in Double Jeopardy and goes with a $1000 bet when he needs a "true daily double" to stay relevant for Final Jeopardy. Alex says, "Okay, $1000 it is" the same way my father said it was okay that I wanted to give up hockey camp in favor of computer camp. 
3. Homer Simpson wearing his reading glasses. Just go ahead and tell me you won't weep like Ben Stiller at the end of There's Something about Mary when this show is canceled. I dare you. I dare you!
4. When Tony and Michael say "your boy!" on PTI. If you're a sports fan, you're more than likely a PTI fan. It's like watching your two favorite uncles discuss sports at Thanksgiving (with the added bonus of not having to watch your brother get drunk and scream "What? You think you're better than me!?" while your mother pops Xanax and your father mutters, "Well that's another Thanksgiving ruined.") Whenever any name comes up, Michael or Tony will claim that the person in question is "the boy" of the other. It's stupid and juvenile and I laugh every time they do it.
5. Whenever Simon says what I'm thinking. There's a good reason why a British guy is the most trusted man in America: he's the only person on TV that's actually willing to say something mean. Simon Cowell (with nods to Bill Maher and Keith Olbermann) is one of the few people on TV who says exactly what we're all thinking (but are afraid to actually say out loud). When an overweight woman comes into the audition round of American Idol with a great voice and a good chance for type-II diabetes, Simon has the guts to say, "You've got a wonderful talent, but you're too fat to win." America gets incensed and then proves him right. I love this guy. Honestly, they should give him his own show where he just goes around judging random people in the street.
Give me your choices in the comments!
Andy Richter: The TV Squad Interview
Have any questions for Vik Sahay of Chuck? Ask them here!
Mike Henry and Daryl Hall on a Cleveland Show Thanksgiving
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
12-26-2006 @ 11:36AM
E said...
When Brian does a "dog" behavior (like wag his tail) on Family Guy.
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1-11-2007 @ 4:35PM
Furdinand Burfopolis said...
1) Bush voters squirming when TV shows us what a boob he is...AGAIN!
2) The news reporting on people blowing up their fingers with fireworks on July 4th.
3) Trailer Trash living too close to the river getting their homes flooded EVERY damn year!
4) Pictures of anonymous bellies during a news story about overweight people.
5) A religious person (other than a Roman Catholic Priest...like we NEED another...) getting caught in a sex act they shouldn't have been performing in the first place!
Reply
12-26-2006 @ 10:56PM
John said...
Jim looking into the camera on The Office, giving that "Yes, he actually did say that out loud" look...
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1-02-2007 @ 7:43AM
j.hues said...
Any time Julius says how much something is worth (that's 42 cent worth of potato chips on the ground!) on Everybody Hates Chris).
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12-26-2006 @ 7:25PM
Lizzie said...
I totally agree with you!
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12-26-2006 @ 12:39PM
colby said...
Thank you, Jay, for no. 4. In fact, I've adapted this (and many other Mr. Tony-isms/Wilbon-isms) to my daily vernacular ... whether it's sports, or anything else for that matter. Case in point: Whenever talking to someone at work about an unlikeable character (be it fellow co-worker or celebrity), that person is ALWAYS referred to as "yer boy" or "yer girl".
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12-26-2006 @ 12:52PM
Brent McKee said...
When Phil Keoghan says "I'm sorry too tell you ... you have been eliminated" on "The Amazing Race". Particularly with the early teams I get the feeling he wants to add something like "whatever possessed you to think that you had a shot in this game" or "be thankful you didn't have to do what we've got coming in the next few episodes." On occasion it's "Dammit I hate to do this because I like you and think you did a really good job and you had a ton of heart, but Bertram and his wife say that we can't make this a non-elimination just because we all want it to be." Once in a while you get the feeling he wants to say "Good riddance to bad rubbish."
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12-27-2006 @ 10:20AM
colby said...
Adding a couple more to the mix ...
- Keifer Sutherland's Jack Bauer screaming into a cellphone or walkie about "being short on time".
- Conan "jogging/sauntering" onto stage to deliver the monologue. Heck ... any Conan mannerisms make the cut.
- NIcknames courtesy of Lost's Sawyer.
- Any snark from Joel McHale on "The Soup"
- Handheld camera action on "Friday Night Lights". Face it folks, it's the signature of the series.
- Anything David Spade. He has a new series every season -- including one this year, which makes it appear that Comedy Central's "The Showbiz Show" won't be returning (for shame). But I will watch him in anything.
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12-26-2006 @ 1:25PM
kevjohn said...
When Woody Paige on that other great (well... good)sports show, Around the Horn, says "Do I always have to straighten you guys out?!?", or his catchphrase "Look at the schedule!".
Reply
12-26-2006 @ 10:04PM
phil said...
Some of you are pretty good writers.
I'd like you to invite you to check out a writing contest. The topic can be a profile of an indie artist, an album review, concert review with photos, or any observations or commentary on indie rock.
For example, when does an "indie" group or artist cross the line and are no longer "indie" and how is that defined? Take The Decemberists and Dashboard Confessional as examples.
The winner of the contest will have his/her writing published and win a $25 gift card of their choice or via PayPal. Deadline for the contest is Feb 1, 2007!!
Check out the Indie Rock Cafe for more information on submitting your entry
http://www.indierockcafe.com
Good luck! This is not SPAM or a scan. We are a legit indie music site.
Reply
12-27-2006 @ 7:36PM
Erika said...
Anytime Jeff Probst comes out of his "host" character and makes fun of the survivors.
Reply
12-27-2006 @ 8:35PM
Sam said...
I am a big sports fan, and I HATE HATE HATE PTI, and I REALY hate that they're now infecting actual sporting events like MNF and the NBA. GET THESE HACKS OFF MY TELEVISION!!!!!!!!!!!
Reply
12-29-2006 @ 6:19PM
dan said...
re: "It should be noted my wife hates me."
Whenever Criss Angel on Mindfreak performs some outrageously impossible trick (yeah, tv cameras, I know), I turn to my wife and say with all amazement "He REALLY IS magic!" I've achieved the same result.
I never tire of Peter Boyle's (aka "the Monster" in Young Frankenstein; R.I.P.) dispariging comments about his wife.
And obscure/dated: On "Animaniacs" whenever some character says something that a jaded and/or perverse adult could read something more into, Yakko steps in front of the character(s), "looks" at the camera, waves and says "Goodnight everybody!"
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12-29-2006 @ 9:55PM
Hopperfan said...
My picks.
1. Whenever Stanley or Creed say something on The Office.
2. Stan almost always making a mountain out of a molehill on American Dad.
3. Keith Obermann naming Bill O'Reilly worst person in the world in any given week.
4. The funniest line in the Simpsons Universe, DOH.
5. David Letterman's segment, Great moments in Presidential speeches which always end with President Bush looking silly.
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1-10-2007 @ 6:41PM
Mia said...
1. Whenever Steve Urkel invites himself to hang out at the Winslows and asks, "Ya got any CHEEEEEEESE?"
2. The look on Peter Billingsley's face in a scene from 'A Christmas Story,' when Ralphie says to the weird girl in line, "Don't bother me. I'm thinking."
3. In the most-aired movie ever on TV, 'Overboard,' there are many Goldie Hawn lines that always crack me up: "I was a short, fat SLUT???" or "Shut up and eat your checkers!"
4. Another movie on TV favorite, 'Matilda,' when Trenchbull yells, "You little squirming worm of VOMIT!!"
5. Peter Brady: "Pork schhhops and appleshauce."
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