And I Quote: The best lines of the past week
Posted Dec 16th 2006 7:45PM by Keith McDuffee
Filed under: And I Quote
The TV Squad team has made their picks for the top quotes of the week from TV:
- "Trust me, Bart. It's better to walk in on both your parents than on just one of them." -- Milhouse to Bart, after he walks in on Homer and Marge having sex, on The Simpsons.
- "I hate milk. It comes from cow wangs!" -- Nelson, on The Simpsons.
- "My nose is just overflowing with awesome and I just had to get some of it out." -- Barney, after blowing his nose from a cold, on How I Met Your Mother.
- "An Indian study has found that condoms designed to meet international size specifications are too big for many Indian men... Which explains why they're always so grumpy when I call for tech support." -- Seth Meyers, on Saturday Night Live's "Weekend Update".
- "This sounds like a haiku." -- Keith Olbermann describing a statement from Lindsay Lohan about her drinking problem on Countdown.
- "They're going back to the old leather ball. Which coincidentally is what Larry King's wife says when she goes home." -- David Letterman, on the NBA's decision to go back to using the old basketball.
- "She knew she was in trouble when the cops slapped the cuffs around her waist." -- David Letterman, on Nicole Richie's arrest.
- "I did meet a friendly face... not Kathie Lee, the other one... Kelly Ripa." -- Howard Stern, talking to David Letterman about navigating a party at Bryant Gumbel's apartment.
- "We call him "McCreamy." -- Medical student Katey to Neela about a new doctor on ER.
- "You saved the Cohens! Without you, Seth is the next Unabomber, Sandy is married to Slutty McSlutterman, and Kirsten probably hasn't had an orgasm in like a year!" -- Taylor, on The OC, trying to convince Ryan that his coming to Newport did make a difference.
- "Man, now I'm at the end of both lines!" -- Ted on Scrubs after he ends up at the end of two lines to enter two different coffee shops.
- "Yeah, the whore with the website." -- Lyla, on Friday Night Lights, explaining who she is to the director of the cheerleading competition.
- "I'm pregnant. McGee's gonna be very proud." -- Tony, on NCIS.
- "It must be hard to get cell phone reception when she's so far up the president's butt."- - Liz Lemon, on 30 Rock, talking about Jack's new lady friend Condoleezza Rice.
Tags: er, friday night lights, FridayNightLights, funny quotes, FunnyQuotes, scrubs,how i met your mother, Scrubs,howIMetYourMother, tv quotes, TvQuotes
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
12-16-2006 @ 8:58PM
Bob Jones said...
A sad day for journalism when a supposed News Anchor is on the list of the best one-liners?
I thought a hybrid of news and opinion was bad (O'Reilly), now we have a hybrid of news and jokes - plus your daily serving of Fox Attacks - that guy should be taken off the air with O'Reilly.
Reply
12-16-2006 @ 10:29PM
Valencia said...
oh man what about Michael's diatribe on the Office, about his bros and ho's...we rewinded it twice to hear
'when she aint yo ho no mo'!!!
Reply
12-17-2006 @ 12:22AM
Will Teullive said...
Anything from the MadTV Christmas special..flippin' hillarious from start to finish!!
SNL's best skit would not make it beyond Mad's cutting room floor!
Reply
12-17-2006 @ 11:04AM
Evadne said...
Somebody got their issue of Entertainment Weekly in the mail!
Reply
12-17-2006 @ 11:14AM
Stephen said...
My favourite was after Carla asked Isabella "Are you hungry?" The Todd responds "I could Eat"
Reply
12-18-2006 @ 11:54AM
jDub said...
Dick in a Box!
Reply