And I Quote: The best lines of the past two weeks
Posted Dec 2nd 2006 8:46PM by Keith McDuffee
Filed under: And I Quote

The TV Squad team has made their picks for the top quotes of the past two weeks from TV:
- "It's like Betty Crocker and Charles Manson had a love child, and he's cooking for me." -- Anthony Bourdain, guest judge on Top Chef
- "I got a better question for you. What is your sister's cell phone doing on my dead body?" -- Gibbs to McGee on NCIS
- "If you have sex, your penis will fall off and land in another dimension populated entirely by dogs, who will eat it." -- Peter reading from a safe sex pamphlet on Family Guy
- "They shake their booties and my thingy gets excited!" -- The Blizzard Man (Andy Samberg) freestyling on Saturday Night Live
- Police Major Daniels: "You're sitting here as deputy just telling me to do the right thing?"
Deputy Commissioner Rawls: "Doesn't happen often, I know." -- The Wire.
- "Idea for a farce, cheating wife and pompous ass burned alive." -- Stewie on Family Guy
- Dick: "So not only did Chip get Kojaked, but someone put a little Roman numeral on one of those plastic Easter eggs and stuck it in his ... where the sun don't shine place. You know where that is."
Veronica: "Worst. Easter Egg Hunt. Ever." -- Regarding finding an egg shoved up Chip's arse, along with having his head shaved, on Veronica Mars.
- *crunch* -- Clark stepping on Oreo cookies (and continuing to jump right on over the shark) on Smallville.
- Denny Crane: "When is the trial?"
Alan Shore: "Next Tuesday."
Denny: "Really? What time?"
Alan: "10 pm" -- Alan Shore and Denny Crane on Boston Legal.
- "How did a death turn into a couples weekend?" -- Dexter, to himself, on Dexter.
- Shake: "Hey you guys wanna hit this?"
Ignignokt: "No thank you, that is a poisonous tire." -- Master Shake and Ignignokt the Mooninite on Aqua Teen Hunger Force.
- "I'm a dumb butt." -- Brooks Leach, a contestant on Deal or No Deal, to Howie Mandel after turning down an $85,000 offer from the banker.
- "Detective." -- Det. Olivia Benson's response to a woman who is obviously hitting on her when she asks Olivia what her name is, on Law & Order: SVU.
- Veronica: "Great job, Dick. I'm sure you won that debate."
Logan: "Well, he's a master debater." -- When Veronica gets on Dick for his argument with a girl, on Veronica Mars
- "I don't know how his wife puts up with him." -- David Letterman, on the antics of Richard Simmons.
- "What do you want me to cook for dinner when the Riggins boys come over. Should I slaughter a goat?" -- Tami on Friday Night Lights
Tags: boston legal, BostonLegal, deter, family guy, FamilyGuy, funny quotes, FunnyQuotes, quotes, tv quotes, TvQuotes, veronica mars, VeronicaMars
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
12-02-2006 @ 9:29PM
Toby OB said...
I know it's a small point to niggle over, but I think the in-joke from 'Boston Legal' was just that the trial was going to begin at 10 o'clock not 10 pm.
The joke was that they were referring to the show being on Tuesday at 10 pm, but the joke would be ruined with a lapse in logic. Starting a trial at 10 pm? Maybe some secret tribunal, but it doesn't make sense in reality and thus ruins the joke.
I wish I still had it on tape to check it myself....
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12-03-2006 @ 2:17AM
Joe said...
Toby, since when did Boston Legal need to make sense in reality? It makes a sport of breaking the fourth wall.
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12-03-2006 @ 10:03AM
Toby OB said...
I can buy the cue cards and the notice of the theme music, Joe; stuff like that. We expect that in their weird little world. But saying a trial will start at 10 pm? I just think that if you screw around with that base in reality and the fantasy begins to crack.
Does anybody still have last Sunday's episode on tape just to clear this up? I could be wrong, but I don't think they would have said 10 pm.
Like I said, I know it's trivial, but what the heck. I really wasn't in the mood to work for world peace today anyway.....
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