(S05E07) This show is so bad and that's why I love it. It's a full hour of garbage every week and I can't help but watch it. I love that about CSI: Miami.
So imagine my surprise after this episode. It was actually so bad, that it was, well... bad. First episode all season that I didn't like and I've got a whole laundry list of reasons that began with the very first scene. Underground car racing? Really? Haven't we had enough of this Fast and the Furious junk? Sure the first film wasn't that bad, although I liked it better the first time I saw it when it was called Point Break. Second one wasn't necessary, then they went to Tokyo, and now it's invading my beloved CSI: Miami. Damn you Vin Diesel.
So the episode opened with a whole bunch of people, doing donuts with their souped-up Hondas. You know the kind I'm talking about. The ones with the exhaust pipe so big I could shove a Nerf football into it? Those ones. One guy decided to try out his trademark stunt, "the jack in the box." He stuck his whole body out of the car and drove the thing with his feet. Unfortunately for him, someone had remote control of his car's hydraulics and they pumped him up eight inches at exactly the right (wrong?) moment. His neck made contact with the wires used to string lights for a recent street festival and it sliced his head clean off.
This was corny, even by CSI: Miami standards, and it only kept going downhill. Next gripe? We got our first dose of what appears to be an ongoing storyline. In response to the mole from last season, the mayor has given the OK to film the CSI team members as they work -- to show that they're good people doing honest work for the city, blah blah blah. It's all for PR, to wipe the slate clean. And who volunteered to be filmed? Wolfe! That seems so against everything he stands for. I don't get it. Regardless, this seems like a foolish storyline and I'm not too excited about where it will go. This is the best they could come up with?
Next up? The whole "fuel line in my backyard" business. The case led them to the father of one of the kids involved with the underground racing. The father was actually in cahoots with another one of the kids. They stole cars and smuggled them to Venezuela. Here's what I didn't like. They owned their own cargo plane and stole the jet fuel. Supposedly, as the show explained it, often times refineries will have direct pipelines that transport jet fuel directly to airports. OK, I buy that. But are you actually going to tell me that these pipelines run through suburban backyards and are only seven or eight feet below the ground? I don't think so and someone correct me if I'm wrong, but that seems very unrealistic.
OK, the two things I did like? Always good to see Samaire Armstrong on TV. I hope they don't bring her back on The OC this season, but I would like to see her again once Entourage returns. Also, CSI: Miami has once again chosen a catchy song that will be stuck in my head all day now. The final scene was cut to the beat of Chamillionaire's "Ridin" and I'm humming it right now and probably will be in 24 hours too. Oh well.
I'm very angry about this overall though. Horatio, Delko, Wolfe... Calleigh! C'mon guys! This is how I unwind on my Monday nights, laughing at your corniness. This had me fighting to keep my eyes open.
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
11-07-2006 @ 4:59PM
Andy Greco said...
yeah CSI Miami is pretty tacky at times and I find myself wondering why i watch it often enough. I couldn't help but literally lol last week(or the week before, can't remember exactically) when that SUV exploded and horatio had such a hollywood-esque walkaway from it...
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11-07-2006 @ 4:59PM
belinda said...
This was not one of the good episodes. I had to keep myself from changing the channel. I agree with the write-up. Can I say I really dislike Delko and Wolfe. I jsut hate their characters. Even though I love the other main characters it was still hard to watch them in this episode. Scale of 1-10 (it was a 2 at best). Boa Vista needs to be written out-useless character.
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11-07-2006 @ 4:59PM
Thomas said...
I'm not watching this, I've finally decided to cut myself off. Horatio just really irritates me. He doesn't do any work! He seems to act more like a detective than anything. His standing side on used to seem cool, now it just seems stupid, his quips are even worse, but what really gets me is the way he just walks off after making them. If you think about it, he's just buggering off and letting everyone else finish off.
The final straw was the car with the bomb in it which he just drove along the highway to the beach, then rather than getting out of there pretty sharpish, he waits, puts his sunglasses on then casually walks away. Then makes his most stupid quip ever - this time there isn't even anyone to hear it! Unless of course he thinks there is an actual camera crew following him around, in which case he's just insane.
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11-07-2006 @ 4:59PM
faustine said...
I did fight to keep my eyes open but I did not succeed.
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11-07-2006 @ 4:59PM
Jason said...
Thsi was awful. Horrible, horrible episode. Boring!!!!! Can we kill Delko and Wolfe together :)
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11-07-2006 @ 5:00PM
Televinita said...
Actually, I'm advocating for Horatio's death...without him, I'll have absolutely nothing left to lure me to the show and can stop wasting my Monday nights.
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11-07-2006 @ 5:00PM
Martina said...
I agree with all of the above. I need to walk away as well. I am hoping something better will go up against it so the ratings will go down. It's bad then sometimes really bad. Let's face it. The ratings are only up because there is nothing else on. I am hoping they will replace Studio 60 with a great show we can tune into at this time on Mondays!!!
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11-07-2006 @ 5:00PM
drew said...
i really didnt find this episode all that bad. next week's episode looks really good. for a video preview go to http://www.cbs.com/primetime/csi_miami/
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11-07-2006 @ 5:00PM
Deidra said...
The previews always look good . It's very deceiving. I thought the episode called "Going Under" when Callie hit the water was going to be good by the previews and it was not. I am with the majority on this show.
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11-07-2006 @ 6:57PM
Andy said...
Well for those who are waiting for something better to come along, check out Medium, if its still on mondays. Its much better than this
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11-07-2006 @ 9:02PM
drew said...
ya, i also thought that episode would be good. but next week's is apparently based on a true story about eva la rue's (boa vista's) sister, who gets kidnapped, and in the show Boa Vista's sister on the show (her sister in real life) gets kidnapped. its kind of confusing, but it still looks better than any preview i've seen for this season, but wait, and find out it is the worst episode of the season. :P
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11-08-2006 @ 12:01AM
Geoffrey M. said...
This show is so bad and that's why I love it. It's a full hour of garbage every week and I can't help but watch it. I love that about CSI: Miami.
I agree with you 100%......They had the cute Samarie Armstrong as was great. Next week episode, I hope to be a breakout episode this season cause right now its not really going anywhere just solving cases. Delko wearing a suit? That was really tacky....trying to look like Rico Tubbs? Calleigh looks like shes wearing alot makeup? Characters looks alot more fashionable than any other season, which pretty disturbs me.
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11-08-2006 @ 11:38AM
Yolonda said...
Even if next week's episode is good I think they are giving us characters I choose not to care about. I hate the Boa Vista character so you can imagine how I would feel about the sister. I don't like what they are doing with the show at all. It all started in season 4 and has gone downhill for me since then. That suit Delko wore matched his tacky character-bad actor. I wish they would just write him off. I love Callie but why are they making her look like she just got off a make-up ad?
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11-11-2006 @ 1:39AM
Kim said...
I've been forcing myself to watch this show out of some kind of stupid loyalty. I just can't do it anymore. I hate all the characters and usually end up on the side of the "bad guy". Horatio is so arrogant and annoying. What's with the sunglasses and the smart-ass one-liners? And why is Alexx all of sudden trying to be sexy? She doesn't need all the make-up and cleavage to examine a corpse! I've had it with this show. I'm switching to Judge Judy reruns.
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11-13-2006 @ 6:18PM
Michelle said...
Next's week's episode seems like a loser also. It seems the producers are trying to get us to "like" the Boa Vista character by making her the center of Season 5. Why are they doing this i really don't know. it just makes me tune out most of the time. I also dislike the Delko character. He can't act. I mean he showed no emotion when Speedle or his sister died. This episode made him look like a complete idiot in his "don johnson' outfit. it's too bad they really ruined this show. I guess it does attract 18-21 for the sheer flash quality but I am turning it off now.
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11-15-2006 @ 11:05PM
Heather said...
i like the show. but then they killed off speedle. he was so sexy. i really don't watch much of it now. rory cochran made the show, for me. now i have no one cute to look at. on to the next show.....
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