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Project Runway: Finale (Part I)

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Project Runway(S03E13) Damn it. Why must they tease us? This episode had nothing. Nothing. They should have just made tonight a two-hour special, declared the winner, and put us out of our anxious, hand-wringing misery.

But no. We have to wait until next week to find out the Season Three winner.

We didn't even get to the bottom of the Laura/Jeffrey scandal (which wasn't as exciting as I hoped)! It's a double-cliffhanger, folks, the very worst kind of cliffhanger.

Tim Gunn visited each of the designers to check on their progress. Michael (with his new braces and all) really felt the time crunch and was told to make his collection more cohesive. His family seemed lovely, proudly showing their support for Michael. Laura, very pregnant but still looking great, welcomed Tim to her beautiful home. If I hadn't seen her audition video before, I would have expected her children to be dressed in tiny suits 24/7... Like, constantly in uniform. Of course, her boys are regular boys... Loud and hyper and wild, with a penchant for offering turtle poop to hapless guests (heh, poor Tim). Uli shared a bit of her history with Tim, briefly talking about her childhood in East Germany. That was pretty surprising. We also got to see Jeffrey play daddy a bit and talk about his drug-laced history (five years clean... good work, man).

The visits went fairly smoothly, with a few suggestions here and there. The only collection that seemed to have trouble was Michael's... He got an "oy" from Tim. An "oy" is never good. Tim checked on the designers again when everyone returned to New York for Fashion Week. Laura, Uli, and Michael still had final touches to finish, but Jeffrey spent most of his time relaxing because everything was done. This made the other designers (mainly Laura) suspicious. The craftsmanship on his garments was top-notch and a far cry from the level of work Jeffrey displayed earlier in the season. So, Laura talked to Tim about it, and he promised to talk to the producers. When Laura told Jeffrey what she had done, he was both angry and offended. He continued to insist that he had done all the work (except for a bit of pleating in one or two pieces) and stuck by his story when Tim talked to him about it.

But we won't find out the outcome -- of the scandal or the competition -- until next week. Because Project Runway loves screwing with our minds. Bastards.

I don't think Jeffrey's in any trouble. After all, the previews make it seem like Jeffrey is going to get kicked out... At this point, I'm smart enough to know that the truth is always the exact opposite of what the previews suggest.

Is it Wednesday yet?

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