TVSquad

Why is it that no one can make an infomercial where people are sincerely speaking off the cuff about whatever it is they're selling, instead of reading off a script or teleprompter? It never looks natural; in fact, it often makes the infomercial take on a creepy quality. This is especially true when said infomercial takes on a talkshow format, with one guy behind a desk and one guy in a chair next to him, sort of what Letterman would look like if we lived in the Bizarro world.

One such ad is for books from Bottom Line Health.

It's one of those places that makes its money telling us that doctors and drug companies are conspiring to kill us, and that a person can cure their psoriasis, heart murmur or lung cancer by natural means. In the past, both the host and the "doctor" pushing the books looked kind of shifty. The "doctor", Arthur P. Johnson, is wearing glasses and a mop of hair that looks like a wig; perhaps he doesn't want people to know who he really is. But the host was especially bad; he was this older guy who had a "come here, little boy" look in his eyes that made me want to report him to the police, not buy a book from him.

Now these folks have seen the error of their ways and replaced the old creepy guy with former 20/20 anchor Hugh Downs. Hugh Downs! Respected newsman and former Today show anchor Hugh Downs. Look, I know the guy's retired and has been out of the spotlight for a while now, but, Hugh, are you that bad off that you want to work for these hucksters? Or do you actually believe in their product? Either way, it's not exactly a great postscript to a distinguished career. At least the infomercials only look half as creepy now.