TVSquad

"Mess O' Potamia... Now with More Mess!": According to a recent intelligence assessment, the war in Iraq has actually heightened Islamic radicalism, thereby making the terrorism issue worse. "Remember, it's a US intelligence report... Take it with a grain of salt." I remember liking the Clinton/Lonelygirl15 joke, but I forgot what it was about because, immediately after hearing the joke, I had to explain to my oblivious roommate who Lonelygirl15 actually is (if you're clueless too, check this out).

"The Geneva Monologues" (HA!): Jon then poked some fun at Bush for saying that the Geneva conventions are vague. That audience loves Jon's stupid Bush impression. The hunch alone sends them into a frenzy (it's not laughter, it's just a lot of "Oprah audience"-like shouting). Senior Terror Linguist John Oliver stepped in to elaborate. I love John Oliver more and more each time I see him (except during "ConTROVersy", which was admittedly kind of lame). And I think Jon may be falling for him 'cause he seems to crack up every time Oliver does something (he audibly chuckled a few times when he was off-screen during this episode). Anyway, although attaching leeches to someone's eyeballs or making a person drink horse semen may sound like torture, it's really not. It's just scenes from America's #1 movie, Jackass 2. Amazing/hilarious work, John Oliver. I salute you.

The night's guest was the president of Pakistan, Pervez Musharraf, president of Pakistan and author of In the Line of Fire: A Memoir and president of Pakistan. The freakin' president of Pakistan, man. I guess we're not so different. Presidents need to promote published memoirs too... just like us. Anyway, after some bulletproof glass was installed on Jon's desk (no joke), they started the interview extra, extra early. 11:11, to be exact. Over half of the show was devoted to the guest! That's, like, a full fifteen minutes. You've got it good, President Musharraf. Watching this interview made me realize all over again just how great Jon's job is. He gets to throw in intelligent, hard-hitting questions just like any other reporter, but he can also offer the president of Pakistan a fucking TWINKIE without getting shot in the face. A Twinkie. Walter Cronkite couldn't have done that. The interview was truly captivating... Musharraf was a surprisingly cool guest. "Seat of Heat": Interesting question... If there were an election held in Pakistan today, and the two candidates were George W. Bush and Osama bin Laden, who would win the popular vote? "They would both lose miserably," Musharraf said with a laugh. Oh, he's good. He's real good. Again, it was a pretty strong interview. Our own Joel Keller talks it here.

Jon/Stephen: Stephen Colbert bragged about the new high-security situation at The Colbert Report. Everyone wants that damn Ted Danson dead. He was an unusually awkward guest, by the way. Moment of Zen: Laura Ingraham is all like, "OMG 24, fuck u".