TVSquad

(S02E07) Every once in a while, I'll watch a show that makes me feel guilty about not liking Star Wars. Yeah. I don't like Star Wars. I've tried getting through all the films, but I just can't take it (the Lucas-style dialogue and PowerPoint screenwipes aren't for me). Although I've seen enough to get the occasional reference (like, I know what it means to call someone a Lando and I caught the tauntaun thing after the "Escape to the House of Mummies Part II" credits), this episode made me feel like crap. I'm sure it was riddled with great Star Wars bits that went right over my head because I'm such a terrible geek. I probably would have enjoyed the ride a lot more if I caught all the jokes.

Oh well. Maybe once Doc and Jackson do an episode of only zombie film homages, I'll feel a little better.

The scene opened with some post-costume party bickering on the X-1 Apparently, the Impossibles made a very convincing Fantastic 4 (O RLY?) and took home the Best Group Costume prize. However, the Ventures didn't have so much luck because Hank just had to stray from their group Star Wars theme wear his Batman costume.

Hank: I am the Bat.
Doc: Yes, yes. You're THE BAT. And the Bat is the reason why we didn't take Best Group Costume... again! Last year, it was Dorothy, the Scarecrow, the Cowardly Lion, and the Bat! Oh, and how about the time we were the hard-rocking quartet of Gene Simmons, Paul Stanley, Ace Frehley, and the Bat?!
Hank: The night is mine.

Quite a few things that I liked about that... First of all, how adorable is the idea of Brock spending a month sewing his costume? I can just imagine the big guy sitting in his room, puffing on a cigarette, Led Zeppelin roaring in the background, and quietly sewing away. Secondly, I loved Doc's half-assed attempt at an Obi-Wan Kenobi costume. Bathrobe, argyle socks and loafers? Seriously. As for Dean, his costume was pretty sweet. He made a hot slave-Leia. Last but not least, Hank's little complaint about his tongue getting caught in the mask slit ("It's maddening!") was fantastic. Any kid that has suffered through a cheap Halloween costume knows what that's like.

Anyway, the X-1 flew near Ünderland, so Baron Ünderbheit snatched up this chance and left his Darth Vader-ish pod to work some evil. He turned on a powerful magnet to bring the X-1 to a crash. Outside, his guards quickly grabbed the Ventures and led them to Ünderbheit. Since he didn't have any holding cells in his lair, Ünderbheit ordered his guards to put the Ventures in the pantry... but to leave Dean (still in his wig and slave outfit). Ewww. Then came the fairly predictable issue of Ünderbheit confusing sexy little Dean for a chick and deciding to marry in the morning. No matter how much Dean struggled, Ünderbheit insisted. "Hopelessness is the greatest aphrodisiac in Ünderland!"

In the pantry, Hank, Doc, and Brock wondered what Ünderbheit wanted from Dean. Their questions were soon answered when a wedding invitation slipped under the door, inviting the three of them to the wedding between Ünderbheit and "Dawn" (and their following execution). Suddenly, a masked man climbed through a hole in the wall and, after recognizing Doc, cried, "This is a rescue! Follow me!" Hank thought he was the Wallflower ("Lamest. Villain. Ever"). Totally lost me. First thing I thought of was that mutant girl from the New X-Men, but I'm sure that wouldn't have been right. Batman reference, maybe? Google didn't help me much.

Back in Ünderbheit's pod, we saw that the Manic 8-Ball guy survived the tiger bombs from "Home Insecurity". He was being held as a captive adviser, so Ünderbheit drilled him about whether or not his upcoming marriage would last.

Ünderbheit: Will I have a boy?!
Manic 8-Ball: [AS I SEE IT YES]
Ünderbheit: You've made your baron a happy man! And to reward you, I grant you your release!... for one hour, so that you may come to the wedding.
Manic 8-Ball: [ASSHOLE]

Doc, Brock, and Hank were led by the masked man to the Ünderground. There, we saw Catclops and Girl Hitler (both from "Home Insecurity") leading an underground resistance movement based on playing really lame practical jokes on Ünderbheit. Strange thing was that the Ünderground folks that the Ventures were there to rescue them. "You didn't come to rescue us?! Then why did you bring the batperson? And Chewbaccawookiee?"

Meanwhile, Dean was in the fitting room with two super-flamboyant eunuchs (lots of "Oh no, I di'in't"s). They were recording his measurements for the wedding gown and marveling at his tight ass. One of the eunuchs pulled Dean into the tub to clean him up and as soon as he removed his costume...

Eunuch: Rooster in the henhouse!
[Eunuch lets out a high-pitched shriek, Dean lets out a higher one]
Eunuch: ... I'm fixed. What's your excuse?

Even after all that, the eunuchs decided not to tell Ünderbheit and continued with the preparations. Of course, Dean's wedding gown (and hairdo) were totally lifted from Leia. Ünderbheit's wedding preparations included donning a wig, Vader-style. Heh.

Doc, Brock, and Hank left the Ünderground to save Dean. Brock took down a hell of a lot of guards in some really creative killing. Ahh, the magic of animation. You just can't do that kind of stuff with live-action! Since Hank wasn't a very good interrogator, Brock grabbed a the lone surviving guard by the balls to find out the location of the wedding. Every time the guard refused, Brock squeezed tighter. However, he promptly let go when he realized that he felt a lump. The entire conversation was so horrible, but I couldn't help but laugh. Wow. Haha. By the end, the guard was so depressed he told the Ventures what they needed to know. And then Hank decided to give the guard a wedgie.

The three of them made a run for the wedding. Suddenly, a set of bars dropped down and Brock and Doc were separated from Hank. Hank insisted on continuing the mission and darted ahead.

Brock: It's suicide!
Hank: Then I'll see you in Heck! AHHH! [runs]
Doc: Thank goodness. Hank's going to save us all. [Brock's lip starts trembling (Aww)] Oh, what're you so worried about? I can make another one. Hey, maybe he'll surprise us! He does get that kind of retard-strength when he's all worked up!
[Hank falls and grunts in the distance]

Suddenly, the walls of their little cell opened up and Ünderbheit greeted them. Little did they know, the wedding had already been completed (by the way, I loved the little Billy Idol "White Wedding" reference as the ring cut into Dean's finger) and Hank had fallen down after cutting his tongue on his mask slit. Ünderbheit started getting a little touchy-feely, so Dean angrily ripped off his costume to reveal that he was not a woman, but a boy science adventurer. The Ünderground folks burst in to immediately arrest Ünderbheit for having a gay marriage.

So, the Ünderground folks took over Ünderland, led by their new president, Girl Hitler. To show their appreciation, they granted the Ventures a "Best Group Costume" award. And instead of executing Ünderbheit, Girl Hitler decided to banish the prick. So, the Ventures got their prize, the Ünderground got their land, and the eunuchs got their balls back (kind of)!

Credits. Ünderbheit stopped by the Monarch's, looking for a place to crash. Holy crap, Ünderbheit/Monarch team in the future?!