TVSquad

"Once You Go Black": So, after five years of turning down invitations, Bush addressed the NAACP at their annual conference. You sure showed Kanye West, Mr. President. Unfortunately, not everyone enjoyed Bush's speech and, three and a half minutes into it, "Sandman" Sims tapped danced him off. Damn you, Apollo!

More coverage of Sam Brownback's totally crazy talking embryos and Bush's snowflake children ("because no two are alike... and they're all white"). Tony Snow had to explain why Bush oppossed the bill, stating, "The simple answer is he thinks murder is wrong". Wow. Briliant. Fun Fact: The president also thinks that owning a baby juicer to flatten babies for their sweet, sweet nectar is wrong. Jon went on to suggest that the phrase "stem cell research" be changed to a more appropriate name, "war on terror-able diseases". Yeah, that's right. It's more about a fight against Osama bin Parkinson's and his foul gang of vicious diseases. "When paralyzed patients stand up, then we will stand down."

"Are You Prepared?!?: To Cash In": Samantha Bee filed another report for this series, this time focusing on the lucrative aspect of the hurricane season. There's actually a website where people can bet on odds for the hurricanes. Good lord. There's nothing quite like making money off of other people's misery. The report was okay, I suppose, but I think Samantha's been working the "haha, I'm a mom and I just cursed" thing too much lately. Not Samantha at her best.

The night's guest was Paul Giamatti. There's something tremendously lovable about that guy, but I can't quite tell what it is... I think it's that little beard he usually has, because I felt a little disconcerted when he showed up with no facial hair. Anyway, he was on the show to promote Lady in the Water and The Ant Bully, but there was no mention of The Amazing Screw-On Head, which has been getting a hell of a lot of positive buzz in the geek world (both of the comic book stores I went to yesterday were jabbering about it non-stop). The interview was pretty much Jon and Paul joking back and forth about nothing. It was kind of awkward, but, thankfully, not "Sharon Stone interview"-awkward. Fun Fact: Kevin Costner was originally set to play Giamatti's role in Lady in the Water.

Jon/Stephen: Stephen Colbert told everyone to stay tuned for a very mundane episode of The Colbert Report... but only 'cause it was Opposite Day (or... it wasn't Opposite Day). Moment of Zen: Bush and NAACP = Best Friends Forever!