TVSquad

"A Times To Kill": The government's currently really pissed off at The New York Times for disclosing information about their plans to look through financial records of suspected terrorists. Jon said that, for once, the government's plan sounds somewhat reasonable, but, ironically enough, they don't want anyone to know about it? Press Secretary Tony Snow read a few highlights from the Times, getting all 9/11 up in the nation's grill. The way Snow handled it was very strange, though. "This administration is THIS close to "yadda yadda"-ing 9/11!"

Freedom vs. Security Balance Analyst Rob Corddry joined in to express just how surprised he is at PDF (Public Displays of Freedom). By writing articles, we are expressing our freedom of speech and, well, that's really just showboating. "If you love freedom, let it free! If it comes back to you, it's yours forever. If it doesn't... it's Stalinist Russia circa 1926. Enjoy yourself!"

Ed Helms filed a report about the restaurant Pink Taco. Many residents of Scottsdale were upset with the news of the restaurant opening a branch in their town, because the restaurant name is slang for part of a woman's anatomy. Helms didn't quite understand, asking, "Can you narrow it down for me a little bit?" After the woman he was interviewing stammered a bit, he asked, "Is it slang for 'awkward silence?'" He also interviewed the man in charge of Pink Taco, discussing how the name isn't at all vagina-related (the vagina-themed restaurant idea has already been trademarked by Vagina Joes). It actually doesn't really matter what the name means because, bottom line, "this pink taco tastes like ass."

The night's guest was Helen Thomas, Senior White House correspondent, author of Watchdogs of Democracy? : The Waning Washington Press Corps and How It Has Failed the Public, and pretty much the only person in the room that laughed out loud at Stephen Colbert's performance at the White House Correspondents' Dinner. She was a wonderful guest. Just like Lance Armstrong from the night before, she knew exactly when to joke around with Jon and when to get serious. She talked about the relationship between the presidents and the press (never really good... respectful, at most).

Jon/Stephen: Just the name "Helen Thomas" strikes fear into poor Stephen Colbert's heart. Moment of Zen: FOX News' Brian Kilmeade vs. Senator Levin! Place your bets now!