TVSquad

(S01E06) This review was performed via IM chat, and has been edited for clarity.

Richard Keller: Good evening, everyone! And welcome to a 'very special' review of Game Show Marathon. I'm here with someone I've known for, well, most of my life. My dear brother Joel.

Joel Keller: Howdy.

Richard Keller: We're diverging from the usual review format because tonight we are going to watch an episode of GSM that features a game show that was viewed religiously in the Keller household during the 1970's. We're talking about Match Game.

JK: The previews of this show looked OK... some oddities... but I'm keeping an open mind; yet, I'm going to be really critical of this episode, considering Match Game is my all-time favorite game show. What are you expecting, Rich?

RK: Well, from looking at the previews from last week I'm not too sure.  They seem to have gotten the feel of the mid-70's set down. What it will really come down to is how the celebrities play. So, without further delay, here we go.

JK: What happened to the period clothing everyone was going to wear?

RK: Lance Bass (one of the semi-finalists) is wearing a big lapelled shirt.

JK: That's about it. At least Betty White is there... a nice call-back to the old show. Too bad they couldn't bring Brett (Somers) or Charles (Nelson Reilly) back. How hard would that have been?

RK: I had a feeling Kathy Griffin was going to be in the Brett Somers spot (middle top), and Adam Curry in the Richard Dawson slot.(middle bottom slot).

JK: Yeesh, Kathy Griffin. You meant Adam Carolla, not Adam Curry, right?

RK: Yes. I guess I was having a MTV flashback.

JK: Well there's Adrianne Curry: Mrs. Chris Knight. She's in the 'Hot Chick' position (bottom left).

RK:  Is Ricki going to do voices, like Old Man Perrywinkle?

JK: I Hope not..

RK: At least they got the intro down.  They've been good about that through the run of Game Show Marathon. And, Ricki's got the big microphone.

JK: What always bugs me about GSM is that they get things "almost" right, but not quite. The theme doesn't quite sound the same and the name tags look different. The lights don't light up! Those orange chasing lights! They're fake! Yeesh.

RK: A 'Dumb Dora' question for semi-finalist Kathy Najimy right off the bat:  Dumb Dora was so dumb she showed up at a baby shower wearing nothing but a blank. (Kathy filled the blank with 'towel'.)

JK: Why not use the same exact music when the stars answer the question? I don't get it. Fremantle owns the music... why not use it? The MG music is all over the net.

JK: Jeez alou, a commercial already? (Right after the first question.)

RK: They are going to stretch this show out with commercials and a visit by Todd Newton to another home winner.

JK: But it breaks up the flow:  Question, then answer, then go to the panel. It's stuff like this that makes me dislike this show. They could play the nighttime version, with three rounds of questions. But NOOOOO... they'd rather take a 30 minute show and stretch it to 60... I don't get it.

RK: The stretch works for some shows, but not others.  For instance, it didn't really break-up the game play of Press Your Luck.

JK: OK, we're back from commercial.

RK: And now, there are going to be introductions of all the stars. Frankly, we know who they are.

JK: Why go through this?  Why not introduce each as we get to them? This kills me.

JK: I miss Gene Rayburn... RIP, Gene.

RK (during introductions): Adrienne Curry is quite the b#tch. She seems quite the whiner on her VH1 show.

JK: I met Adrianne Curry at a convention. She is quite beautiful. I met Chris Knight, too... he had such a grin on his face it was unbelievable.

RK: You know, Chris Knight has now had a bigger career than all the rest of the Brady kids.

JK: Heh. I would imagine. And... he made his millions from a software company!

RK: Nice to see Betty White on the bottom-right corner.

JK: Like they said, Betty's in the Betty position.

We finally get to see what the stars answer after all of the introductions.

RK:  Oh, Adrienne, you are so nasty. Dumb Dora wore a G-string.

JK: I'm so tired of Adam Carolla...so tired.

RK:  Oh joy, a Paris Hilton question for Lance Bass. Like we needed to hear about that!

JK: 39 days without blanking....Were the questions that unsubtle in the old days?

JK (after Lance answers with bathing): Bathing? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Lance, you idiot!

RK: It's over for Lance! End the show, go to the Super-Match! Let's play a round of Remote Control.

JK: So far, I haven't laughed once.

RK: I think Kathy Griffin is talking WAAAYY too much.

JK:  Well, so did Brett; she took ages to explain her answers.

RK: Yes, but Brett was funny. Kathy isn't

JK: Sextaping? Did someone tell Adrianne to purposely do dirty answers?

RK: The sexpot always had the dirty answers in the old show, if I remember.

JK: See, for some reason I liked Betty's answer, even though it made no sense.

Lance has the next question about a dentist who says 'blank' before he makes love to his wife.

RK: You know, some of these questions remind me of the format they used to have during the first season of the show.

Lance fills the blank with the word 'brush'.

JK: Oh my god! What a moron!

RK: Brush? My wife thinks Lance is as dumb as a doorknob. My wife is very smart.

JK: Yes, she is (Hi, Sis-in-Law)

RK (after Adrienne answers floss in underwear): Floss in underwear?  Ohhkay.

JK: Ugh. Adrianne. Just be pretty. Leave the jokes to the joke writers. Heh, rinse. Betty scores another one. She's still on the ball after all these years

RK: I wonder why they're showing so many clips from Match Game 73, since that was the first season and really didn't resemble the greatness that the show was in later years.

JK: And Gene had a clip mike! He didn't get the stick mike until half-a-season in or so. Don't know why they're doing '73 either. I would have done '76 or '77.

RK: Although, MG 73 pulled some pretty big stars. I remember Jack Klugman was in the top spot for a period time. That's how Brett got on the show.

JK: Yeah, Jack suggested Brett. They're technically still married, you know; they never got divorced officially.

Next question was to Kathy Najimy about the winner of the Plastic Surgery Awards.

JK: Either Kathy Griffin or Joan Rivers. This is the "Brett" question:  self-referential

JK: Kathy (Najimy) scores the definitive answer! Joan Rivers!

RK: Good Job, Kathy!

JK: They're using a light box for the squares and circles. Cheap-o.

RK: Blue triangles instead of green. No ding either when they score.

JK: Looks green to me. What's wrong with your TV?

RK: A different shade of green. I'm anal that way.

JK: Ooh... Phyllis Diller.. .nice answer by Betty.

A third round is played, just like it was during the syndicated nighttime version of Match Game. 

JK: The question is:  all the bridesmaids at a stripper's wedding were wearing blank.

RK: Tassels. Not a bad answer from Kathy Najimy.

JK: Betty answered 'belly studs'.

RK: Yea, Betty belly dancing. Excellent! So, unless Lance gets a clue it looks like Kathy Najimy is going to win and play Brande a(Roderick) next week on Family Feud.

JK: I would guess... Oh, actually I know BECAUSE CBS SHOWED KATHY PLAYING SUPER MATCH IN A COMMERCIAL!  Idiots.

RK: How do you think Ricki is doing this episode?

JK: Ricki's doing OK. It's celebrity schmoozing... she was a talk show host. She's well-trained for this (even though she did makeovers and such on her show).

RK: Star-wise I think George, Adam and Betty are the stand-outs.

JK: Adam's OK and George is George.

JK: So far, this version of MG is eons better than the 1998 remake of the show. The 1990 remake was OK... at least it had Charles. And the Match Game-Hollywood Squares Hour had Gene. I'm a secret fan of that show. Never understood why it was canceled.

RK: Brett and Charles were on the MG-Hollywood Squares Hour. Am I wrong?

JK: Brett and Charles were only on MG/HS occasionally.

The final question to Lance was Snoop Dog was starting a new show on MTV called Pimp my blank.

JK: Bride! It's obvious. This one's gonna completely pass over Betty.

RK: Or 'ho; Pimp my 'Ho.

JK: Pimp my Bride rhymes with Pimp my Ride! Lance got it right! But, he's gonna lose because Betty won't get it.

RK: He's a youngster. That's why. Us ancient people who remember MTV as a music video channel don't know about that.

JK: You've never seen Pimp my Ride?

RK: If it isn't on Disney, Noggin, or Nick Jr. I don't watch it. Is Dora the Explorer on MTV?

JK: See. they used the right theme music there as they spun Lance off.

RK: I wonder if they lost the other music. I'm not too sure why, since I've heard plenty of radio shows use it.

JK: Notice the lights on the Super Match are LEDs, not light bulbs. The typeface on the Super-Match board isn't right, either. Why not get it EXACTLY right?

Kathy now played two rounds of Super-Match.  The first round was 'blank' Market.

JK: Supermarket is my choice.

RK: Kathy Griffin chose 'super', Bruce Villanch chose 'bull' and Betty chose 'flea'.
.
RK:  Kathy Najimy chooses supermarket.  Good choice. (Super turns out to be the top answer. Next Super-Match is Purple 'blank'.)

JK:  I'd say Purple Haze.

RK: Kathy Griffin chooses 'haze', Bruce Villanch selects 'Cairo' and Betty chooses . . . Purple Rain?

JK: Purple Rain from Betty! Not too bad! Purple Rain might get it!

RK: Purple Heart, Purple Haze and Rain.

JK: Who knew? Purple Rain from Betty White!

RK: She's hip.

JK: Well, she'd be hip if this was 1984.

RK: I wonder if they're going to do the Star Wheel or just the Head-to-Head.

JK: No idea, If its MG '73 it might just be the question.

RK: So, it's not 10 times the amount, but 50 times the amount.

JK: Probably. Ten thousand dollars was great in 1973, but now it's kinda paltry for a game show.

RK: During the syndicated nighttime version I believe they went as high as 20,000 when they spun the Star Wheel.

JK: Where's the tote board for the dollar value?

JK: No Star Wheel.  The Head-to-Head match, and there's no Richard Dawson to automatically pick for the match. It's Blank Kong. It better be King Kong.  if George says Donkey Kong I'll scream.

RK: Too simple. I guess so the home viewer could win the money.

JK: They wanted to make it easy for the home viewer, else they would have felt gypped... 1000 bucks.

RK: Well, that's over.

JK: This was the best of all the episodes so far. Though I liked card Card Sharks, too.

RK: I thought Press Your Luck was better.

JK: The only thing that pissed me off was Adrianne. She was irritating. Bring back Elaine Joyce or Joyce Bulifant! I don't care if they're 65 years old.

 That's all folks.  Thanks for joining us, and we'll return next week to our normal review of the final Game Show Marathon episode:  Family Feud.