Anna Johns asks a very important question -- with Chris gone, does anybody still care about American Idol? My answer is yes and no. Chris was my number one dude, and I'm destroyed that he's gone. The thrill of the game has left me. I no longer feel the shrill of excitement every Tuesday when Chris takes the stage. I am now filled with blood lust, and I thirst for the demise of Elliott. I don't blame America for Chris' untimely elimination. I blame Elliott. I'm not exactly sure why, but somehow he is at fault. It's certainly not me. Taylor deserves to be in the finale, and so did Chris. Katharine? Eh, I guess. Elliott? Not so much.
With Chris gone, I have a new reason to watch Idol. I want Taylor to destroy them. Destroy them all. When we first met Taylor, he seemed the most unlikely candidate for American Idol. He's got gray hair. He's kinda tubby. And he looks like he's taking a dump when when he sings. This whole season has been absurd, so why not end it with a fireworks display of absurdity. I want Elliott and Katharine to be buried alive under the avalanche of votes that Taylor will receive. I want every man, woman, and child to vote for Taylor. I want more Americans to vote for Taylor then there are actually in America. I want Mexicans to illegally swarm over the border like locusts, with their Cingular Wireless phones in hand, just so they can vote for Taylor. I want him to destroy those other two. I want Taylor to rise from Chris' fallen ashes and pour acid rain all over Elliott and Katharine. I know that being bitter over Chris won't bring him back, but it makes me feel a hell of a lot better.
Elliott Yamin- Whatever magic juice Elliott drank last week has worn off because he was back to his boring self last night. I'm not sure of the ingredients of that special brew, but apparently Paula was his dealer. I thought all the song choices for Elliott tonight were pretty lame. I actually feel bad for him that Paula picked his judges song. Of all the judges, that's the last person I would want to pick my song. Well, she tried to take all the credit for his success so I guess she can now take credit for his failure. I know that a lot of you say that Chris always sounded the same in all his songs, but I feel that way with Elliott. Every song sounds exactly the same to me. Even when he sang the Journey song, it just sounds like he's gargling with the lost souls of a thousand fallen cabaret performers. And I don't know why he picked that Ray Charles song for himself. I don't think it highlighted his talents very well or made him unforgettable. It just felt like more of the same old Elliott that comes back week after week. After week, after week, after week, after week.
Katharine McPhee- If anybody looked like they were on the brink of a nervous breakdown tonight, it was Katharine. I have actually been pretty surprised at her rapid emotional withering in recent weeks. During the early stages of the competition, Katharine looked like she was one of the strongest performers, and I mean that in the emotional sense. She seems like a great young woman with very little ego or reservations about herself. She is geographically closer to her home, then many of the other contestants and she has always seemed to shine with confidence. But this past few weeks have really chipped Katharine's smile.
There were several times tonight when it looked like she was about to absolutely break down in tears. There was one uncomfortable moment when she said to the judges, "You guys have really been hard on me the past few weeks." And she's right. Without a doubt, Katharine is the best vocal performer left, and yet the judges just tear her apart week after week. Sure, she has screwed up. Her lackluster performance last week was evidence of that. But tonight? She did pretty well. "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" was absolutely magnificent, and the judges heavily praised her for it. But they were really harsh on the other two songs. No, she didn't do as well on the other two, but they were still pretty freaking good. Was there any reason for Paula and Randy to rip on her? They seem to be harsher on her than any other contestant, and I don't know why. But the thing that bothers me most is doesn't seem like Katharine can handle it. When she is praised, she absolutely beams. But when she is criticized, she just withers, and it's uncomfortable to watch. I just don't think she has the strength to be the next American Idol. If she can't handle Paula's lame quips then how is she going to handle Howard Stern saying she's got a fat butt?
Taylor Hicks- I think I've already covered my feelings about Taylor. He's not my first choice, but he's my number two. I really do just love the guy. He just has that star quality, and on top of it, he can really sing. Sure, he looks like he's pooping while he's singing, but hey, whatever. I'm amused by it. Sure, it's over-the-top and completely absurd, but it's fun as hell to watch. I thought Taylor absolutely nailed it tonight. He gave us all the dimensions of Taylor that we love -- sensitive, microphone-squeezing Taylor, crazy-squeal-and-hug-himself Taylor, and (my favorite) windmill-dance-moves Taylor. And he gets a million coolness points for recreating the Bruce Springsteen dance sequence with Paula Abdul. But it would have been a lot cooler if he actually pulled Courtney Cox Arquette out of the audience instead. I mean, was she not available for a Fox cameo? She couldn't be that busy since Friends went off the air. Humping David Arquette and being a shoulder to cry on for Jennifer Aniston couldn't be taking up that much of her time.
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 3)
5-17-2006 @ 9:49AM
Vince said...
Can't someone write a TV Squad review of Idol without the obligatory "McPhee has a big rear-end" comment?
These are real people, of course they react to criticism. Great comeback for McPhee when song choice was the criticism on her first song: "It wasn't my choice!"
Elliott leaves tonight, Taylor wins over McPhee in final show.
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5-17-2006 @ 10:16AM
Kittycremecake said...
Everyone (except me) seems to think that Katherine's "Over the Rainbow" was fantastic. I couldn't wait until it was over. It drives me crazy when the singer works so hard to "make it their own" that the song is practically rewritten so it is no longer recognizable. Besides, would any of you listen to that if it came up on the radio or would you be hitting the search button?
Honestly, I don't know if I would listen to Taylor on radio or cd, either. I would definitely go to see him perform at at club or show - but just don't know if his voice is good enough to capture my attention without the floorshow.
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5-17-2006 @ 10:16AM
Jen said...
I agree with Lacy - it is Taylor all the way!! No one else is strong enough as a competitor - vocally or emotionally since Chris is gone. And the reason Kat was wondering why the judges have been hard on her is because she truly isn't that great. She has been raised & spoiled all her life by her parents that she is the best thing since sliced bread in her town & now she is getting a national dose of reality - there are other people with good, if not better voices, honey!!! She just expects the pats on the back from everyone & the warm responses everytime she opens up her mouth to sing - BIG sign of immaturity!!!
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5-17-2006 @ 10:22AM
Joe said...
I find it unfortunate that you dismiss the only true vocalist left in the show, Elliot. I agree that Chris was a major talent -- and he will definitely have a career after this -- but Elliot is possibly the only singer left with a true soul.
While Taylor does revel in his performances, I'd wouldn't want to listen to him on the radio or my iPod. And I have a hard time believing that he would be able to perform as himself, not a mock-up or imitation of Joe Cocker or Ray Charles. Who is Taylor? Who was "so beautiful" to him last night? His mother? his girlfriend? his boyfriend? his grandmother? That song was so boring...
And Katharine is all about her schtick -- looking beautiful and trying to make nice sounds. It's all about eyes and teeth, and looking good (as the judges make sure to point out every time she doesn't sing so well...) Where's the heart? Where's the humanity? And it is also unfortunate to me that she gets away with being ungracious... She's never going to be as good as she thinks: she's not Celine, Christina, or Whitney. Nor is she as good as previous AI finalists Kelly Clarkson or Fantasia.
While I will agree that Elliot is a little stiff in his performing, I could listen to his voice all day long. It has heart, passion, and he's real. He's not trying to be someone else (like Taylor), nor is he about just looking or sounding good (like Katharine.) There are times I wish American Idol could be executed blindly, where the performers sing from behind a screen or is done on the radio. We would see a completely different outcome because people would be voted for based on their talent alone, not their bells and whistles. So I agree with you that Elliot will probably head home tonight, but it's really too bad. And I have to admit, if that happens I really don't care who wins.
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5-17-2006 @ 10:41AM
jamtvman said...
Lacy-
Always love your comments.
Kat will slim down and be the hottie she needs to be.
Wondering why she a mess? Just checking out her weirdo crying or on the verge of crying father sitting there.
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5-17-2006 @ 10:41AM
Sabrena said...
Well I haven't been watching the show that Much But a friend told me to tune in........... And I'm glad I did........... All I have to say is Taylor ROCKS.....
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5-17-2006 @ 10:53AM
Kelly said...
As much as I like Elliott's smokey voice when he's "on", I do think he dropped the ball last night. Katherine McPhee doesn't seem to get why the judges don't like her style - it's because she sold her "soul" to the devil for her beautiful voice. She has a great voice which is backed up by no emotion and even less soul!! She is fake and tries to hard to make people like her. Taylor, on the other hand, has more soul than he knows what to do with -- making him much more appealing to voters. You've got to move people....it's more than just a pretty voice and people know when you're faking it!! That's my free advice for Katherine.
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5-17-2006 @ 11:05AM
Duane said...
I agree with Kitty - Kat's Over the Rainbow made me nauseous. It's like a rollercoaster listening to her sing, you never know if the next note is going up an octave or down one. We don't need a vocal demonstration with every song. Just sing the silly thing. She's getting the same praise that Fantasia got when she sang Summertime like 4 times. Some people like that slow, highly personalized stuff. Not me. I'll take Taylor's
last song anyday. I was surprised that I did not like his Joe Cocker so much, though. But, hey.
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5-17-2006 @ 11:15AM
DD. said...
I predict, Kat Mcphee is going to be the new American Idol, no matter what the people is talking about her. Right now she is the only one that diserve to win, and she is going to do it.
DD.
I hope this time you will be able to published my prediction.
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5-17-2006 @ 11:16AM
Micki said...
I have been watching the show since the begining and don't really know what it is trying to prove. Chris by far was the best and for one reason or another he gets booted. Well if I have to choose from what is left, Elliot is the most talented. Katherine needs to FINALLY go packing, she simply is not that good and should be thankful she out lived Kellie. Taylor would be my next choice, he is a entertainer.
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5-17-2006 @ 11:19AM
niccomm said...
Lacy's comments about Elliot mirror mine about Taylor?he's the same every week. He's an impersonator. What's it going to be this week Taylor? Joe Cocker? Ray Charles? Michael MacDonald? Last night we got a Bruce Springsteen impersonation, right down to the Courtney Cox dance bit. Taylor is not an original. I don't want to see a lukewarm tribute to great american performers, I want to see something original and imspiring. Taylor is not it.
"Star quality"? Someone please define that for me, so I understand what it is you all see in Taylor. I see, as Simon has mentioned, everybody's favorite uncle jumping on stage at the wedding reception after a few drinks.
The "dancing" looks absolutely ridiculous. Can you honestly say you'd sit and watch an hour of that nonsense?
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5-17-2006 @ 11:20AM
Jeff said...
Jen,
You, like so many others, focus your commentary on McPhee as though you ACTUALLY KNOW her, her family, and her upbringing. "She has been raised & spoiled all her life by her parents that she is the best thing since sliced bread in her town & now she is getting a national dose of reality - there are other people with good, if not better voices, honey!!!" What do you base this on? Your perceptions? It APPEARS that she was raised by supporting parents who, like most, simply want the best for her and, unlike some, ACTUALLY BELIEVE IN HER ABILITY TO BE THE BEST. So much of the criticism of McPhee is about her percieved inflated ego or her percieved shallowness, or her percieved immaturity. Its amazing how many people forget that perceptions are rarely reality and are ussually more of a commentary of how one views the world. Look under the surface. This is a girl/woman who lives in LA yet hasn't starved herself into a toothpick, trying to be someone she isn't. The girl is a good singer. With all of the support that comes with professional management, she very well could end up being a great singer.
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5-17-2006 @ 11:30AM
phillytim said...
What is up with everyone thinking that Katherine's 'Rainbow' song was her rainbow moment? It was one of THE SINGLE MOST EXCRUCIATING MOMENTS IN AI HISTORY, for me. As soon as Simon picked that song for her, I rolled up my eyes and knew that Katherine's "moment" was produced by the show...Katherine could not stand on her own merits. And this, people, is not a sign of a true American Idol that can hold her own.
Katherine: you are no Carrie, Fantasia, Kimberly Locke (who did SOTR much, MUCH better the other season), or Kellie Pickler, for that matter. Tonight, America is gonna take your whining and send you right back home.
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5-17-2006 @ 11:40AM
Jen said...
I agree with Duane...she is "trying" to get the same praise as Fantasia got with her Summertime song but I hate to tell her, I got neither tears or chills with it, like I did with Fantasia?!?! I hope she gets voted off but I feel it will be Elliot. IF Kat wins, there is a good chance that this will be my last watching of American Idol. After things with Chris last week, the excitement is gone for me! Chris will end up being bigger than any of them anyway - and that is per Simon as well!!!!
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5-17-2006 @ 11:53AM
T said...
Duane and Kittycremecake...and ESPECIALLY Phillytim:
You nail it.
That "moment" was as fake and contrived as Kat Stepford No Mc Pheelings herself.
The whole thing was excruciating and nearly made me lose the great dinner I'd made earlier.
...and it's true she cannot handle criticism. People who are totally full of themselves usually can't. I have said it since day 1: she feels entitled to be there as opposed to lucky.
She is not the singer she believes herself to be, either. Until she manages to figure out how to become a human as opposed to a cyborg and develop feelings, she never stands a chance at being that singer. Maybe she should watch Spielberg's "AI" instead of listening to her mama tel her how great she is...I dunno.
What I do know is that I nearly have carpal tunnel after a season of muting her and that other fake Pickler.
PLEASE let her be gone tonite!!!
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5-17-2006 @ 12:43PM
Rabbit said...
T, you and Lacy crack me up!!! Thanks for my laugh of the day.
I wish I could get as angry or as excited as everyone else.
Unfortunately, I think it will be a final showdown between Kat &
Taylor. The excitement is gone now that Chris isn't there. It would
have be great to watch a Taylor/Chris finale. I like them both. I
have always rooted for Taylor because he is a blast to watch. A lot
of you can pick him apart but at least he is not boring to watch. I
would go to a concert featuring him before I went to one featuring
Katherine. I am starting to think it might be in both Taylor's (and
Chris's) best interest not to win. He will be a slave to AI and not
allowed to make his own choices. It would be fitting for Katherine
to win and have to endure the AI machine. I think with the fact that
she doesn't listen to constructive criticism and performs her own way, it will be quite a public display of fighting over the next
year. I for one would enjoy sitting back and hearing about the DIVA
Kat and the DICTATORS at AI having a go at each other on a regular
basis. MEEEOOOWWWWW.
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5-17-2006 @ 12:48PM
l baker said...
Lacy,
First visit to this site. You're commentary is hysterically funny. Thanks for the entertainment.
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5-17-2006 @ 12:50PM
Melissa O. said...
After Chris was sent home last week, I was so upset that I swore I wouldn't even watch American Idol anymore, yet I somehow couldn't refuse. I suppose if I had to pick a favorite out of the remaining three it would be Taylor. I agree with everyone's " BIG BUTT" comments about Katharine, but I can't believe Elliot's horrible snaggle-toothed grin doesn't offend anyone. Dude, go see a dentist!!!!
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5-17-2006 @ 12:53PM
sipsie said...
the best description of taylor's "dance moves" i've heard yet came from my friend kristi last night: "he looks like a drunk father of the bride who's wandered onto the dance floor."
am i the only one who thought taylor looked like he'd just heard terrible news as he began to sing "you are so beautiful"? his eyes were darting all over the place, his face had an anguished look and i was ready for him to dart off the stage at any second. he didn't seem into the song at all. it was like someone told him some tragic news just before he went on stage.
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5-17-2006 @ 1:14PM
Cate Woodworth said...
The title of this article just caught my eye. And, guess what, Taylor's personality reminds me of Lee Trevino's, the Merry Mex, in daring to have fun with his talent and kick over the mold (tho he missed the mic stand!) rather than try to be squeezed into one. He has been entertaining from the getgo and his singing ability is finally getting recognized. I miss Chris, too, and would have LOVED a Taylor/Chris final. And props to Elliott for his growth over the weeks of this competition. Kat - yuck, and plastic yuck at that!
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