TVSquad

I'm transitioning from an IT career to one of a full-time freelance writer. Because of this, I'm spending more time at home during the day. And, despite my better judgement, I leave the TV on in the background while I work. I've been getting in the habit of putting on Dr. Phil at 3:00, and, while I think Phil's a blowhard who often states the obvious, I do like seeing him yell at the idiots that come on his show.

Case in point: today, a couple comes on to talk about the major strife in their marriage. It's so troubling, that the woman, a mature, pretty and intelligent blonde, breaks down and cries. What's the problem? Infidelity? Health problems? Money issues?

Nope, it's none of those things.

She's got "heavy legs".

You heard me. She's had 3 kids, her legs have gotten fat and full of cellulite, and her husband refuses to look at her naked because of it.

My god. What's wrong with these people? Both of them said the word "legs" about a hundred times, and made it sound like they were saying the word "cancer". The husband's a dolt for not supporting his wife and the wife is off-kilter for getting so upset over her legs. If some cellulite and varicose veins are the worst problems in their marriage, they should consider themselves lucky (by the way, the husband looked like he's put in about a c-note during the marriage, too, so he's not only an ass, he's a hypocritical ass).

The solution's pretty simple, of course: the husband should stop making the wife feel bad about it, and if the wife still wants to get rid of the cottage cheese and can afford it, she can do it. Not rocket science. But, oh, do I love to hear Phil set them straight...

Anyway, these people aren't even close to being the screwiest daytime talk show guests, as anyone who watches Maury or Springer can confirm. Heck, even the guys at Boing Boing have found a couple of instances that show how ridiculous things can get ("I want to sit on people for a living"? Who comes up with this shit?).