TVSquad

Believe it or not, good news has arrived from the Middle East: Abdul Rahman, an Afghan man risking the death penalty to convert to Christianity, has found safety in Italy and American journalist Jill Carrol has been released. Hurrah! So, "for every person killed just because of their religion or for being an American, there is another person almost killed but... then at the last minute... not."

"Aliens vs. Senators": More news about the immigration bill currently wracking the brains of Congress. The media has been all over this... Charlie Gibson couldn't let go of "amnesty" and Bill Frist told Hannity and his "struggling sidekick yearning to break free" that it's a workable policy. "Just think about Elian Gonzalez and how easy that was! Now, just times that by 11 million." Then, Lou Dobbs had the audacity to say that he didn't care for St. Patrick's Day! Jon Stewart was shocked so he gave Dobbs a phone call on the air, and explained how diversity is extremely important because New York is a parade-based economy.

"What's The Matter With Denmark? Pt. 2": America's not the only one with issues over immigration, because Europe has been having plenty of trouble with the issue, especially with some of the community of Muslim immigrants. Jason Jones filed another report about Denmark, the site of the recent Prophet Mohammed cartoon fiasco. This time around, Jones asked, "Why does Denmark want to control the world?" There's no denying it, because their soldiers parade around the streets in their uniforms and fuzzy hats day in and day out. Then, for the rest of the segment, Jones made fun of some Danish viking expert that said "vikings" like "wikings". The poor fellow looked like such a fool, showing Jones different examples of "wikings" on packaged foods from the supermarket. This is a good series for Jones... It looks like Jones is close to fully developing his correspondent character. He's still acting like an inconsiderate douchebag, but not to the point where he's such a jackass that the audience doesn't even want to watch him. Hurrah.

Ever suspected that the war in Iraq might have been a foregone conclusion? Well, you got it right. Give yourself a pat on the back. An old, confidential White House memo has surfaced, showing that Bush had "penciled in" plans to invade Iraq on March 10 of 2003 with or without agreement from others. Wow. This blew me away, actually.

The night's guest was Sharon Stone from Basic Instinct 2 (seriously, is a sequel necessary?). Ridiculous, pathetic interview. I was extremely disappointed. Jon thanked Stone for coming, despite his jokes about her from last week's episodes. Honestly, I don't think she even knew. She didn't answer any of Jon's questions and only sat around and giggled in her golden/nude dress. How irritating. Jon got kind of flustered halfway through and Stone's stupid giggling didn't help at all. Stone scared me just as much as she irked me.

Jon/Stephen: Stephen Colbert was running a little late so he had his team do his prep work while catching up with Jon. I felt somewhat jealous of the girl that got to give Colbert a quick shoulder massage. Best job ever. Moment of Zen: Run, immigrants! Run!

Oh, and Jon announced that the next guest will be Ricky Gervais! Ahh! I'm so damn excited. Wake me up when Monday night rolls around.