TVSquad

In a March 21 press conference, Bush was questioned about possible staff changes. Bush respondend, "I'm satisfied with the people I've surrounded myself with. We've been a remarkably stable administration, and I think that's good for the country." Definitely. But he never mentioned which country. Anyway, less than a week after this conference, Bush announced the resignation of Andrew Card, White House Chief of Staff.

"Bail to the Chief": Andrew Card was the one that whispered the news of the World Trade Center to Bush on that morning of September 11, 2001. Bush was reading My Pet Goat with a group of small children when this news was delivered. TDS got their hands on some of this footage and you could distinctly hear Card whisper, "We're under attack... but keep reading. I must find out what happens to the goat." Damn you, Card!

"What's The Matter With Denmark?": I guess this is a new series by Jason Jones. It started off with Jon speaking to Jones with the split screen as usual, but, as Jones started walking around, we realize that Jones really is in Denmark. When Jon reacted in surprise, Jones got offended and stormed off through the streets of Denmark. This report was actually very, very funny. I laughed out loud several times during the segment (the random black guy ripping up the flag, screaming, "Screw you, Denmark! Screw you, man!" threw me over the edge). Jones popped up in the studio right after the segment. Again, Jon was startled. "I took an aeroplane, Jon." This could turn out to be a very funny series.

The night's guest was one of TDS' favorites, Fareed Zakaria. The show always devotes more time to special interviews, and, for Zakaria, they started fifteen minutes before the show ended. Ooh. VIP treatment. Most of the interview consisted of discussion about the possible anti-immigration bill. Zakaria explained that activating this bill would mean extreme alienation of the immigrants, similar to the situation in Europe. The trouble is that alienated immigrants are more prone to dangerous activities like radicalism and terrorism. Well, hell, bring it on! "We have a lot of unburned cars here!"

Jon/Stephen: "Way to sock it to Denmark, Jon! It's the cesspool of Scandinavia." Moment of Zen: It's the White House staff posing, smiling, and bantering awkwardly. Fake, fake, fake.