Today's news that Will
Smith will play the Robert Wagner role in a remake of It Takes A Thief got me thinking: what shows should they
never, never, ever, ever update and bring to the big screen? I'm tempted to say "most TV shows," but I'm
talking about the five that they should never touch. Here's my list:1. The Dick Van Dyke Show: Can you imagine this show on the big screen? How would they recreate the rhythm and pace of the show, the ensemble chemistry, the writing? If anyone even attempted to redo this show on the big screen, they should be dragged to the California border and banned from the state forever.
2. The Andy Griffith Show: If they attempted to update this show, they'd
make it ironic and irreverent and sexual. And while I think that might actually make a funny short film (or a sketch -
they had a funny take on the show when Ron Howard hosted SNL many years ago), it would destroy the whole purpose of the
show.
3. I Love Lucy: I don't know who the hell they'd get to
replace Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz, but I know that the plot would involve Lucy trying to get into Ricky's act. Only
this time it wouldn't be at the Tropicana, it would be The Academy Awards, and Lucy would destroy the show in front of
billions of people, and probably be involved with spies or something. Ugh.
4. Magnum, P.I.: This is being talked about (I know George Clooney was attached at one point, and Tom
Selleck says that the only way he'd do it is if it's on the big screen), and it looks like it's now a go, but this
would be pointless too. The only way it would work is if they keep the same exact cast (Selleck, Hillerman, Mosley,
Mannetti) and keep it set in Hawaii. But are those four leads a big enough draw for a big budget action flick on the
big screen? Hmmmm.
5. Miami Vice: Whoops. Too late.
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
3-22-2006 @ 4:35PM
Alan said...
Plus 3 out of the 5 you named has the staring Actors name in the title. How odd would it be to have the Dick Van Dyke show with someone other than DvD. You can add Bewitched and Beverly Hillbillies to the list of movies from TV that never should have been made.
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3-22-2006 @ 4:38PM
Bob Sassone said...
That's true, but they'd get around it. They'd rename it "Rob Petrie: The Movie" or something.
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3-22-2006 @ 6:29PM
elf said...
Oh come on, this is too easy. Just name ANY TV show ever and someone can come up with a reason who it should not be made into a movie. For instance, I think a Sopranos movie would have all of the impact of...two back-to-back episodes of the Sorpanos. They can already do whatever they want, so bringing it to a movie screen would allow for what exactly? But what the heck, I submit to you:
"60 Minutes: The Motion Picture": See Morley Safer investigate like you've never seen him investigate before! Watch Ed Bradley take the bad guys down with a searing in-depth expose guaranteed to rock the house! All this and Andy Rooney tells you like it really is! tick tick tick tick tick...
You see my point? What I'd like to see is a list of TV shows that COULD be made into successful films, since I doubt there are many. Hell, there have been so few successful examples of this in the past that I doubt we'll come up with many viable candidates.
The problem as I see it is that unless the movie is intended as a continuation of the TV show, such as The X-Files movie, there two significant approaches used when bringing a TV show to the big screen. First is ironic detachment where the original is playfully mocked, such as The Brady Bunch Movie and the Aykroyd/Hanks Dragnet. And the second is where the only familiar thing from the show is the title, like SWAT.
In fact, I think there are two potential column ideas:
1) List TV shows that were turned into GOOD movies. (I'll start it off with Star Trek and Serenity, both continuations of the series. I can't think of any others right now, but note that these were both done with the original casts and not reimagined or reengineered for the big screen.)
2) List TV shows that COULD be turned into GOOD movies if done right, original cast or not.
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3-22-2006 @ 6:48PM
elf said...
By the way, is there any coincidence that this story ran in the New York Post today: (http://www.nypost.com/entertainment/61294.htm)
March 21, 2006 -- No Moore - please! Hollywood's fascination with remaking old TV shows - however questionable their quality was the first time around - has got to stop. Now comes word that Mary Tyler Moore thinks "Desperate Housewives" star Teri Hatcher would make a suit able Mary Richards if "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" was ever turned into a movie. "I was thinking [Hatcher] might be good. She's got the look and I think she does well with comedy," Moore told "Access Hollywood."
Don't even go there, Holly wood. Do we really need an other '70s sitcom translated to the big screen to become the latest box-office stinker? * * *
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3-22-2006 @ 6:56PM
Bob Sassone said...
Elf: first, it's a coincidence. Didn't even see that article.
Second, of COURSE there are shows that could be made into good movies: some of the Star Trek movies, The X-Files. Some TV shows, especially recent ones, would lend themselves quite nicely to the big screen. I'd go see an Alias movie if they made one, and the Mission: Impossible flicks are fun (even if there really isn't much borrowed from the series).
But this particular post was about 5 very specific shows from the past that would be impossible (or should be impossible) to bring to the big screen. The shows they shouldn't touch.
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3-22-2006 @ 7:22PM
John said...
"I Love Lucy: I don't know who the hell they'd get to replace Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz,"
Well, that's easy. It'd be a gender switch, with J.Lo as Desi and... I dunno... David Spade as Lucy?
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3-22-2006 @ 8:22PM
Angie Amonett said...
I agree with you 100%!!!! The TV movie remakes of some of hte golden oldies shows have been much less than desireable...such as I Love Lucy! I would love to see a Magnum PI movie with as you said, ALL the original cast and set in Hawaii. I can't see George Clooney playing Thomas Magnum. Only one person can do justice to that role and it's the one and only actor who portrayed him for 10 years! TOM SELLECK!
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