TVSquad

Apparently, New York was (is?) experiencing some peculiar weather on these first few days of Spring. "If you see the groundhog today, y'punch him in the face for me," Jon ordered. That Punxsutawney Phil is a lying bastard. Jon then did a few jokes to reference something that happened during the pre-show warm-up. An audience member brought Jon some wine as a gift, but it left Jon concerned. "Should wine be carbonated?" Well, it doesn't really matter... If it has a fancy name, drink it.

"Mess O' Potamia": Happy anniversary! We've been in this Iraq mess for three years now! Whoo! To celebrate (eh), Iraq is currently undergoing what some call a "low-grade civil war". That means that the weather there is currently "partly shrapnel with a chance of -- AHHHHHHH!" Iraq also experienced its first day of parliament, which lasted only half an hour. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, "taking care of all Iraqi business in the time it takes to watch Two and a Half Men". They did Al-Jaafari/microphone(s) jokes again and I laughed way harder than I needed to (again). Audio engineers and I enjoy sibilance jokes.

Resident Expert John Hodgman (my notes for this portion of the show were mostly "WHOOOOO!!11"... Hodgman rocks) came in to speak a little about the global warming issue currently plaguing humans and polar bears stuck on floating bits of ice alike. If we're not careful, Hodgman warned, frozen cavemen will thaw out and wander around. If they find a leader -- a Captain Caveman, perhaps -- then we're screwed because we'll probably get eaten. Rising sea levels and organized flesh-eating cavemen... "All because you didn't buy a hybrid car this year".

The night's guest was Clive Owen from the new film, The Inside Man. Jon spent part of the interview pressuring Owen into naming a "crazy prick" he's worked with before. Owen was a gentleman and didn't give in (to Jon and the audience's dismay). They then talked a little about the upcoming Sin City 2 and Sin City 3. Neither Owen nor Jon have worked in a sequel up to this point in their careers (mostly because Half-Baked doesn't have much of a sequel in its future... hmm, what about a prequel?).

Jon/Stephen: Stephen Colbert did a belated celebration of St. Patrick's Day by breaking out some green beer reading a little from James Joyce's Ulysses... and then pulling some sweet Lord of the Dance moves. Moment of Zen: The media went going green-crazy with St. Patrick's Day, from O'Hardball to demeaning little people by dressing them up as leprechauns.

Side-note: Demetri Martin's going to be on March 21. Looks like it's going to be a hysterical segment. Hodgman and Martin need to be on the show more often...