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American Idol: Ace's pretty face gets slapped

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ai logoWell, this was unexpected. I mean, I certainly thought that Ace would land himself in the bottom three eventually, but not during the first week. Yeah, I know -- he wasn't that great last night. But isn't being incredibly attractive enough? I say yes. At this point, I've already made up my mind as to whom I want to win (Chris Daughtry). So I say, let's keep Ace around as eye candy. Taylor? He's not candy. Elliott? He's not even a tootsie roll. We need Ace, so vote for him!

And why was Lisa Tucker part of the loser sandwich? Surely, people liked her better than Bucky. The one thing I love about American Idol is that they turn surprises like this into life lessons for the viewer. Seacrest waves his little finger at us in disgust -- "It's all your fault, America. Remember, you gotta vote or this is what happens." We're trying to vote, Seacrest. We can't get through! It's the 5th hit season...get more phone lines! And while you're getting more phone lines, rent Stevie a real piano. The man is a legend, and you've got him rocking out on a 1980s electric keyboard. I'm surprised they didn't just rent him that giant jumping keyboard from Big. I'm sure Taylor knows how to play one of those.

So Melissa is out. Yawn. I know that some of you really like her, but I never got it. To me, she's the poor man's version of Mariah Carey. The more important question is -- who's voting for Kevin? You jerks.  

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