Britney's hubby Kevin Federline told Blender recently
that if his career as a crappy rap artist doesn't pan out that he'll probably turn to stripping.
Lucky for you I just finished work on my time machine and visited the future. As it turns out, Mr. Federline will in fact become a stripper. Here's what I saw during his first night at the Boom Boom Club:
Kevin [on stage]: That's right, ladies, soak it all in.
[Women cheer and hoot]
Kevin [removes shirt]: Is it gettin' hot in here? Oh my!
[Cheers become louder]
Kevin: Now, let's get these pants off. Ow! Damn it! [falls over]
Woman in front row: Kevin?
Kevin [continues to struggle with his pants]: What's the frickin' deal, here?
Woman in front row: Kevin? Sweetie? You need to take your shoes off before you take your pants off. They won't slip over your feet otherwise.
Kevin: I'll figure it out!
Woman: Your song just ended.
Kevin [yelling to guy behind bar]: Rob! Hey, Rob! I need a pair of scissors! And another new pair of pants to wear home!
Rob: I told you after the third time it happened I wasn't going to help you anymore.
It was a sad spectacle really, but there's your proof. Stay strong, K-Fed.
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 4)
3-14-2006 @ 12:46PM
LC said...
He should just get it over with and change his last name to Gillooly.
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3-14-2006 @ 1:32PM
jOHN! said...
I almost thought that there'd be a picture of "Bang Bang Bart" in the Simpsons episode where Homer has aspirations of Bart being Chief Justice of the Supremem Court.
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3-14-2006 @ 1:46PM
DC in PA said...
He should get that g-string ready because his 15 mins of fame are just about up. But then again maybe he will take a lesson from his wife and lipsync to stardom.
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3-14-2006 @ 1:46PM
jennifer said...
OK, THAT WAS HILARIOUS, I PICTURED HIM VIVIDLY TRYING TO STRIP AND YOU MADE IT ENTERTAININGLY FRIGHTENING, DISTURBING AND I LOVED IT LOVE IT, LOVED IT
Reply
3-19-2006 @ 8:10AM
Will said...
I dunno.... this might just be K-Fed's true career calling. He's kind of hot in a "trashy stripper" way anyhow...
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3-19-2006 @ 8:10AM
MARY said...
THIS GUY IS THE BIGGEST LOSER!! HE REALLY SICKENS ME WITH HIS FAT EGO, THAT HE SHOULDNT HAVE IN THE FIRST PLACE!!! HES A CON/USER SCUMBAG AND IVE SEEN BETTER LOOKIN GUYS ON THE STREET!!!! BRIT IS A DUMBASS FOR WANTING THIS BUM!!!! AND IF SHES PREG AGAIN?...LOOOOOSSSSEERRRRRRSSSS!!!!!! THEY DESERVE EACH OTHER!!!
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3-19-2006 @ 8:10AM
donna said...
i wouldn't watch him.
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3-19-2006 @ 8:44AM
DAVEdetroit said...
Let's Fast Track This Thing And Have FED Go Straight (Or Gay) Right To PORN--And Get It Over With.
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3-19-2006 @ 9:01AM
Nichole said...
I think that Kev is ugly and that he should not be allowed to strip. He would scare everyone away. I don't understand why he needs to try to make a living for himself when hes doing what he does best, living off of Britney.
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3-19-2006 @ 9:03AM
cha said...
He is such a loser!! You almost feel sorry for him, he really has no idea how pathetic he is. Why any woman would want to touch him I don't know (let alone have sex with him). He shouldn't be allowed to reproduce. The poor kids!
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3-19-2006 @ 9:05AM
lana said...
um, is this a real person, can you be serious that britney with all her talent, has chosen this loser? wow, im not so impressed with her anymore.
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3-19-2006 @ 9:08AM
Deb G said...
I can not imagine anything more silly or disgusting than Kevin Federline stripping. Brad Pitt he ain't!! Mr. Spears.....please do the public a favor and keep your clothes on....in fact put on a long heavy coat!
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3-19-2006 @ 9:09AM
KELLS said...
Kevin Federline ?.....Who Wants or Needs to see that sight....Stripping ? You made me Laugh out loud ! The ONLY person in this galaxy who NEEDS or WANTS to see that sight is Britney....So Sad !
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3-19-2006 @ 9:14AM
Ashley said...
why did Britney allow herself to get mixed up with an idiot, has anybody heard some of his so called songs? I feel bad for him really, he made a fool of himself in front of the world. If Britney is pregnant again i hope she can handle it, being a single mom with two kids, seems to me that kevin is doing the same thing that he did to shar, maybe brit will leave his dumb a$$ befor he robs her blind, and she left with nothing and two children, GOOD LUCK BRIT STAY STRONG
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3-19-2006 @ 9:18AM
sheryl said...
You can take Britney and Kevin out of the trailer park but, you can't take the trailer park out of them.
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3-19-2006 @ 9:23AM
Nik said...
Leave it on!! Leave it on!!
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3-19-2006 @ 9:24AM
Kim said...
Kevin would do better flipping burgers at McDonalds. All he is good at is having babies. He needs to get a real job.
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3-19-2006 @ 9:28AM
Mario said...
I didn't know Kevin had an album out. Must not be that good if I, a DJ, hasn't heard it. LOL Kevin is cute enough to be a stripper but 1st of all I think he'll make more money in a gay bar, 2nd of all he needs a tan bad, 3rd and last, he needs to lose his cocky attitude. He really ain't all that. He's only known because of Brtiney.
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3-19-2006 @ 9:35AM
Gianna said...
And to think her family didn't want her married to the OTHER guy, but they thought this guy was ok? What's wrong with these people? Trash, nothing but white trash.
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3-19-2006 @ 9:37AM
patty said...
who in their right mind would want to look at him stripped, he is hard enough to look at fully clothed.. i agree, they should invest in mobile home parks and entertain the likes of themselves, maybe they would feel more appreciated...
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