TVSquad

Big news, everyone! Dubai backed out of the port deal! Jon scoffed, "Apparently they're too good for our ports". Plus, Abu Ghraib prison is going to close! Ed Helms reported on-location regarding this "end of an error era". He said that the Iraqis were really sad about the closing because it was the heart of their economy. Where will all the blindfold-makers find work now?

"Sects and Violence": The Golden Mosque, one of the holiest sites to Shiite Muslims, was recently destroyed by suicide bombers. Jon then mentioned that the Jews also experienced some misfortune with their holy sites as well. They only have a wall left but they seem to enjoy that... "By 'enjoy', I mean 'wail at'".

"Mess O' Potamia": Iraq is breaking into a huge civil war. General Peter Pace spoke to Tim Russert about the issue on Meet the Press. General Pace said that things are actually going quite well but he "wouldn't put a great, big, smiley face on it". A smiley face with half its face blown off might better suit the situation. Senior Unceasing Hatred Analyst Rob Corddry commented on this fight by talking a little about the different sides and explaining how everything was turning out more like a "civil war-portunity". He then spoke about giving Iraq "benevolent borders", either by changing it to the shape of the USA or like a cute little otter... with a top hat!

Jon then did a little segment about black Republicans and how they're "voting on the downlow". Apparently there's a training school for black Congress candidates now. That's a wee bit weird... Apparently, Lynn Swann, former Pittsburgh Steeler, is running for governor. Hm. The fake Alan Keyes campaign ("I'm batshit insane and don't even live here") was worth a chuckle.

The night's guest was Bruce Bartlett, author of Impostor: How George W. Bush Bankrupted America and Betrayed the Reagan Legacy (I wonder what that's about). Bartlett talked about his views on the administration and how he thought that Republicans have set themselves up for huge losses in upcoming elections. He and Jon had a nice interview (Bartlett played along very well).

Jon checked in with Stephen Colbert, who was sporting a huge, rainbow afro-wig. He explained that it was to wake the audience up because they had "been watching you for half an hour. I figure they might be a little sleepy" (haha, the audience booed Colbert for that... it was cute). Before signing off, Colbert pointed to his wig and said, "By the way, Jon, the carpet matches the drapes". Moment of Zen: It's To Tell The Truth, with your host... Lynn Swann!