TVSquad

Jon started with some good ol' presidential humor by covering Bush's visit to Asia. The president went there to sign a nuclear cooperation (or as Bush would say it, "a nuke-ular kwap'ration") with India. America will help India build nuclear reactors if they promise to stop their children from crushing us in spelling bees. Bush also learned about Indian culture, seeing cloth made the old-fashioned way on looms, visiting farms, and facing one hell of a huge potato. "Compared to India, our potatoes are literally small potatoes!"

Resident Expert John Hodgman stopped by to tell us that Bush was right when he said, "Pakistan and India are two different countries, with different needs and different histories". Yup. They are different countries. Good job, sir. Hodgman made sure we got the point by showing us a map upon which Pakistan and India were identified by separate colors. He then went on to talk about how Americans don't have to be scared of Gandhi anymore and explained that the hate in India is diluted because there are so many deities. To explain a little about the deities of Pakistan, he wanted to show some cartoons he did of the Prophet Mohammed. Jon came to the rescue and stopped him before someone could flip out and burn one of our KFCs.

Senior Baseball Drug Expert Rob Corddry reported on the new book Game of Shadows, which claims to have the details on five years of Barry Bond's steroid use. Corddry said that he approached Bond about the issue, but the response was less than warm. "He tore a phone book in half and tried to fuck a Coke machine," he said. "I'm fine... but the Coke machine only takes exact change now. OH!" I've got to admit, I laughed a little too hard at that.

The night's guest was the legendary Neil Young. I guess Jon is a big fan of the guy because he seemed really giddy to see him. Mr. Young chatted about Heart of Gold (the new spaceship he recently stole with Zaphod Beeblebrox -- oh, sorry, this is the film that documented Young's two-night performance in Nashville. My bad.) and his songwriting process (he writes best when he's not thinking about it).

Jon checked in with Stephen Colbert, who blabbed a little about Neil Young. Moment of Zen: Look out, India and Pakistan, here comes the president!