TVSquad

Canadian elections. Stephen Harper won. Conservative, it is. In the end, the big question was "Can we still stitch their flags to our backpacks to get through Europe?" Well, Americans, if all else fails, we could always just tack on "eh?" at the end of our sentences and hope for the best.

After the sale of their SUVs dropped dramatically, Ford announced that the company will lay off 30,000 over the next six years. This happened the same week as the Time magazine cover with Bill Ford, in which he talked about the environment-focused plans of the company. Apparently, their newest creation will be an environmentally friendly car that will run "partly on gas, partly on electric, but mostly on the tears of unemployed workers' children".

Detroit/Upper Peninsula Correspondent Rob Corddry joined in to talk about the Motor City's reaction to the Ford situation. He brought up that the Superbowl will be played in the Ford Stadium. Perhaps the game will bring some temporary solace to the newly unemployed workers, who will buy beer to celebrate the game or to drown away sorrows. Corddry then reminded everyone of the recent success of the down-on-their-luck steelworkers, the Steelers team, before Jon crushed it all by telling him that they're just an athletic team. The segment ended with Corddry sporting a foam finger flipping the bird. Oh em eff gee, I want one.

In Manhattan, Kansas (the Manhattan with values), President Bush answered questions from an unscreened audience... Well, it technically wasn't unscreened, but we're all about pretending here, right? Looked like someone slipped through the cracks when a woman asked Bush about the $12.7 billion cut from education. Bush responded by feigning sudden hearing loss... "At the federal level?" he asked, after asking her to repeat the question. "Our -- our education?" Bush's hearing kicked back in when he was praised. Trick ears! Amazing.

Dan Bakkedahl filed a report about cowboy life. Gay cowboys are having the time of their lives, while other cowboys are annoyed by the gayification of the American symbol (through films like Brokeback Mountain). Isn't the rodeo just hot men in chaps riding pounds of meat? Yeah. Let's not gay it up. I think this has been Bakkedahl's best report yet. I loved his comment about the "tickle of gay" that he feels whenever he walks past a Bed, Bath, & Beyond. The part where the straight cowboy listed all the men he considered "striking" was priceless, as well.

Reza Aslan, the author of No god But God (now in paperback), was the night's guest. Aslan and Jon discussed Osama bin Laden and his effect on the people he supposedly leads. Aslan said that Osama created such a radically individualistic version of Islam, he can't hold control for much longer. Plus, guys like Osama have no real authority in issuing fatwas, so it's really a power that he has given himself. Later, Aslan stated that only Americans can offer what Iran what it wants. Jon looked worried for a split second. "I thought you were gonna say 'Jews', and I got very nervous..." Ahh, silly Mr. Stewart.

Jon checked in with Stephen Colbert, who, in a very blunt manner, said, "Daily Show viewers, watch my show tonight or you will die". Moment of Zen: Someone tried pitching Brokeback Mountain to President Bush at the Manhattan, Kansas Q&A.