TVSquad

"I'm so over rice."

Finally! It's another episode full of those zingy one-liners I so longed for, sympathetic characterization, and what's even better: fantastic hair. My sister and baby-sitter were over for dinner and, as we shoveled in cassoulet, the whole living room was cracking up when Bree caught Danielle having a little tryst with the Applewhite hottie. "Danielle, question: is there a black man hiding under your bed?"

There were plenty of reasons to crack up tonight, and that's why we love the Housewives.

Also: I love it when my favorite ladies look this good. And tonight? Hot. Very hot. It seems as if every last one of them has been through a high-class version of makeover day on America's Next Top Model. Teri Hatcher somehow managed to look slim but not gaunt, and not a day over 34. Bree looked right off the red carpet with her fabulous body-full poufy 'do. Gabi must have gotten a lovely black rinse, she looked stunning and, for once, not totally slutty.

Lynette was also looking hot today - I can honestly say the deep blue tweedy number, with the ribbon waist and the A-line, is one of the best suits I have ever seen, anywhere. But wasn't she supposed to be on this super budget, not buying any new clothes? Right, just tell me that suit didn't cost $2500! If not, I'll be heading to the nearest Saks and picking one up. Can y'all hold a size 6 for me please?

Besides the clothes, we finally have our sympathetic Lynette back. For a few moments she was actually being sweet to Tom. She listened to his ideas, she used some of them, and she wasn't completely sarcastic or dismissing of him as a human being. At first. Then, she was, a little. She didn't want to share the glory with him. And what's more: she couldn't even conceive of the idea of working with him.

You knew it would happen, and hey, so did I. (I've LIVED this plotline, so I already know it's not going to go quite the way TV writes it, but oh well.) Tom, he'll get hired by the boss, who of course would love him. And Lynette will be a little bit - or a lot - peeved. But I didn't really call the nice reconciliation - tearful, sweet, and yes, sympathetic. Yay! Is my lovable Lynette back? I hope so.

On the other hand, when it comes to the "hot nun" - grrrr.

I have to say, though I've never been a huge fan of the Catholic church - I'm not one for getting my rules & regulations of daily living from a tiny old man several thousand miles away - I hate the (what would you call it? blasphemous? yeah, that) characterization of Sister Mary Bernard. Could she be more conniving? Is it possible for her to less of What Jesus Would Do? (or maybe in this case, What the Virgin Mary Would Do?) Sister Mary Bernard is way more controversial, in my eyes, than The Book of Daniel. That: a droll depiction of a "real" priest who is - shocking! - not perfect. This: a depiction of a highly sinful woman "of God." We all know that nuns just don't act like that. And no, this is not supposed to be believable - it's TV - but I'd rather have it be marginally respectable.

And whaddya know? It seems as if the Applewhite family has finally picked itself up from the ashes of mediocrity and become hip with the rest of the good storylines. Yay, Alfre! (and boo to your son, who didn't even keep Danielle's trust. I didn't think any better of you, but poor Danielle.) You know that a character has gone from sideshow to real deal when she takes a seat at the weekly poker night.

Lastly, one more good line for the night:

Sister Mary Bernard: "The problems in your marriage aren't going away."

Gabrielle: "Maybe not. But you certainly are." (a predictable line: but still funny)