TVSquad

When I heard the designers were going to be designing a party dress for a famous New York socialite, I knew it had to be Paris Hilton. It just had to be. The girl makes cameos in all the things I love -- burger commercials, The OC, porn. As turns out, it was her more respectable, more innocent (?) sister Nicky, who was the mystery socialite.

I suppose that makes sense since Nicky is the one with her own fashion line. I know it sounds bad, but I always forget that. The girl had one major PR flup (her quickie marriage and divorce), and yet that's all I can ever remember about her.

For this week's challenge, the designers were given $150 for materials, 30 minutes to sketch, 30 minutes to buy fabric, and one day to design the ultimate party dress for Nicky. Right away,there was drama as the designers fought over headless design mannequins. Apparently, somebody took Zulema's mannequin, and then Marla's was missing, and one of the gay guys (couldn't tell which) was screaming about some missing chiffon or something. The editing during this part was horrible. Before I could even register what was going on, everybody had their mannequin and was happy. (But I still don't know if the mystery screaming queer ever got his missing chiffon back.) And I'm not even sure what the big fuss was anyway. Why were they fighting over mannequins? Aren't there enough to go around? I know that there are because I could see some extra ones just sitting in the background. I'm no designer, so I don't know if it's crucial to work with the same mannequin week after week, or if the designers were just forcing reality television drama.

With Daniel Franco out of the picture, there didn't seem to be much problem for any of the designers to finish their designs on time. Although, Daniel V. had a dillemma in that he accidentally bought chocolate brown fabric instead of the black fabric he had planned on using. But never fear, Hipster Boy prevailed.

Once everything was finished, the designers and models went to a cocktail party to show off their designs to Nicky. The models wore the designers' party dresses, and for some reason, Santino wore 5-inch heels. He saidhe wanted to"stand out." Hmmm, I think that ugly bald head sorta makes him stand out. Or maybe even his big baby hissy fit attitude. Or maybe even that ugly ass tiger shirt he wears every freaking week. I think all those things make him stand out. But sure, Santino, go ahead and put on some 5-inch heels too. Doesn't hurt to take it the extra inch? Or extra 5-inches for that matter. (PS- Where did he even get those 5-inch heels on such short notice? Did he just have them? I have a feeling that if this design thing doesn't work out, then Santino may be replacing Miss J on Top Model next season.)

At the cocktail party, everyone was dressed to the nines, but Nicky showed up in faded jeans and a purple cardigan with giant buttons. She looked like she was going on a study date at the library. SuperNerd Diana, on the other hand, looked hot! The glasses were off, the hair was waved, the shirt was tight, and Diana was drunk. Well, not drunk really, but I think a glass or two of wine helped the SuperNerd to transform into a sexy dancing machine. She even got a new nickname...Dirty Diana.

Later, the designers had a runway show, where Nicky got a second look at the dresses. Same as always -- Santino's was hot, Nick's was hot, Marla's was a disaster, Guadalupe's sucked, and everybody else fell somewhere in between. If we learned anything from the judging, it's this, Nicky loves the two B's....blue and braiding. If blue or braiding was anywhere involved in the garment, then she loved it. I was really disappointed in Nicky's comments during the judging. I am trying to like her; I am REALLY trying. But she's not helping. I want to respect her as a designer, and yet, all she can say is, "Um, I like the color. Blue is my favorite color." The other judges are talking about the intricacies of the fabrics and design, and she's talking about how blue is her favorite color. It reminds me of Will Ferrel in Elf, "Hi, this is Buddy.  What's your favorite color?"

Santino won with his storm-cloud gray garment with a wrapped bodice, an assymestrical skirt, and(of course)a braid in the back. The dress was pretty, but I still think Nick should have won with this hot number. That asymmetrical hemline is fierce. Nick thought he should have won too, but at least he didn't throw a third-grade hissy fit like Santino does when he loses.

Marla found herself almost eliminated again this week with this crappy rip-off of a Chloe dress that Nicky Hilton already owns. During the designing process, Tim told Marla about 500 times that her dress was too much of a knock-off and she should change it, but she only partially followed his advice. It frustrates me that every week Tim gives expert advice and yet the designers rarely listen to him. Message to Designers: If you ever see Tim making this face. You're doomed!

Guadalupe ended up getting cut with this atrocious number. She chose an ugly, black, scrunchy fabric and then she over-embelished the whole thing with flowers and (as Tim put it) old green socks. The dress was just a disaster. It was by far the worst dress this week. But Marla should really get down on her hands and knees, and feel blessed that she managed to last another week. She can't sew, she picks ugly colors and fabrics, and she copies other designers ideas. How has she lasted this long?