TVSquad

Even though it's not all that hip to admit this, I have no problems saying that I'm a fan of Ellen DeGeneres. I've enjoyed her comedy, which I can probably best describe as "stream-of-conciousness with detours," since she first broke out on TV fifteen years ago. I just love the way she goes off on her scattered tangents with this look on her face that just says "What? This is the way I talk." She's Sarah Silverman without the race humor and smugness.

I also like Ellen's talk show. Whenever I get a chance to watch it, I enjoy the interviews she gives the A-list stars that drop by, and I like the attention she gives the regular people in her audience. Unfortunately, I can't watch the show for more than five minutes at a time without changing the channel. Why? The freakin' over-hyper audience, that's why.

The audience at Ellen is, by far, the loudest, most over-caffeinated audience on TV. Even Oprah's audience isn't as hysterical as Ellen's. They stand up and scream at everything on the show, whether the guest is Brad Pitt or a 12-year-old snake expert. Every time Ellen gives the audience a prize, they screech like they just hit the lottery. Granted, some of the presents were nice, but they scream just as much for a free CD as they do for plasma TVs.  It gives me a damn headache every time I watch.

It makes me wonder how they get the audience to be so enthusiastic over there. Do they pump in pure oxygen to make everyone lightheaded? Maybe they mix in some small amounts of laughing gas? Does everyone do whippets before the show? Or is the warm-up guy just that good? I'd like to hear some of your theories in the comments.