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America's Next Top Model: The Finale

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nicnikWham, bam...thank you, ma'am. A lot of reality shows tend to drag out the big finale. Some to the point of being obnoxious (cough, cough...The Apprentice). But not Top Model. There was no long and tedious two-hour finale. No live audience. Not even a lot of tense music. And I only counted one suspenseful cut to a commercial that slightly annoyed me. Tyra kept this finale short and sweet, without a lot of fluff. So, I will do the same... 

Ladies and gentlemen, meet your new Top Model....Nicole!!! Yeah, I don't know how I feel nicolescreamabout it either. On one hand, I'm happy with the decision. Nicole is a beautiful girl and she certainly is meant to be a model. But, on the other hand, any of the girls in the final three would have made incredible top models. Plus, I remember back to the first episode and how annoying she was. Remember their trip to the grocery store? "Chapstick! We need to get some chapstick!" Who would have thought that she'd end up winning the whole thing?

The finale began with the final three (Bre, Nik, Nicole) celebrating their achievement of making it to the end. The girls jumped on beds and cheered, but the celebration was short-lived as they soon found their way to the Cover Girl commercial and photo shoot. They do this every year on Top Model and it's always my least favorite thing. You don't really realize how fake models are in make-up commercials until you see them "behind the scenes." It's nothing but cheesy smiles for as far as the eye can see.

All they had to do was read some lines and smile real pretty for the camera. Somehow this is very hard to do. But to everyone's surprise (including mine) Nik nailed it. Absolutely nailed it. She didn't slip on a single word. Nicole, on the other hand, sucked. She fumbled over every single line and complained that the lights were too bright. Too bright? You're a model! She screwed up her lines so bad that Jay actually had to feed her dialogue to her line-by-line. How in the world did this girl end up winning?

Nik rocked, and Nicole sucked. Bre found herself somewhere in the middle and was eliminated. Apparently, the judges just didn't think she had what it takes. When Bre was eliminated, I just loved how she immediately removed her heels and slipped on her super dork glasses. I thought that if there was ever a Bre moment to erase the unfortunate London Red Bull Fiasco of 2005...that was it.

With Bre gone, Nik and Nicole were on to the final runway show. Yawn. Last year, they had a runway of water that was partially dark. This year, it was just extra long and the girls were instructed to "take long strides and stomp really hard." Yawn. There should have been snakes slithering across the stage. Or, to make it more challenging, drunken Lisa should have been sprawled across it during a drunken blackout and the girls would have had to maneuver around her. That would have made it more interesting. In fact, the most intriguing thing about the runway show (notice I didn't say beautiful or attractive) was Miss J's bonnet made out of his corsage flowers from the fallen contestants. Somewhere, there is a big black woman searching desperately for her favorite Sunday church hat.

As far as the runway show, I think the girls performed equally-well, but I am a do-or-die Nik fan. The girl might not have a lot of personality, but who cares? She is absolutely gorgeous.niksmile She is gorgeous from the side, the front, the back, the rear, the boobs, straight hair, curly hair, no hair. She's gorgeous and she takes a gorgeous picture. Plus, not once did I really ever hear her do or say anything negative about anybody else. She fought this fight clean and fair. But apparently, the judges thought that was a bad thing. They didn't think she was tough enough to be a real model. But isn't Tyra supposed to be a nice model? Every week, she goes on and on about her experiences, and all the mean things other models did to her during her rise to super stardom. Tyra was a nice model, so why is she chopping Nik down for being the same way? I don't get it.

Nicole? I think she's a pretty girl and a photogenic girl. But she's annoying. There is something sort of cocky about her, and I don't like it. I know that she had that sob story about how she is "never the girl who wins" and I say, so what? If you never won before, then why do you have to win now? It should have been Nik. It should have been Nik.

 

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