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America's Next Top Model: Episode 11

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jaylablowWell, poop. The Great Red Bull Fiasco of 2005 ended (peacefully) before it fully developed into a reality TV ragefest. Ugh! I hate you reality TV gods. I shake my fists at you in frustrated anger. After last week's pre-Thanksgiving Red Bull/Granola bar bitch fest, I was super-psyched for some more petty fighting amongst the girls. But things ended just when they were getting started.

The girls got split into pairs to go sight-seeing around London (an obvious ploy by the producers to get more fight footage between Bre and Nicole). In order to avoid hearing any more petty gossip (and possibly due to off-camera nudging by producers) Jayla and Nik decided that they wanted to go sight-seeing together. The stage was set for a showdown between Bre and Nicole, but then the girls decided to play nice. Sigh. They sat down at a cafe and shared some red wine, and all was forgiven. Sigh. What a let down. I wasn't ready to let the drama go. Plus, we still hadn't solved who ate Bre's granola bars. Nobody ever confessed. Either Nicole really was innocent of eating the bars, or she just got away with the crime of the century. I blame the lack of Kim and Lisa. We need those two crazy bitches to keep the drama fueled.

The challenge this week was for the girls to learn about London fashion (mod, prep, Bollywood, punk) and go on various go-sees dressed the part. All the girls proved they sucked at this, minus the exception of Nik. This is another week in a row that Nik knocked the challenge right out of the park. Nik has proven to be just like my puppy dog's farts...silent but deadly. She might not have a lot of personality, but Nik is gorgeous and the girl pays attention to direction. She soaked in every word that Jay and Twiggy told them about London fashion and recreated it beautiful. The girls need to watch out for her. She might take this whole thing.

I wasn't impressed by the photoshoot this week. I liked the Indian-theme, but I expected the creative direction to be more....well, creative. Frankly, I thought it was boring. Plus, I wasn't impressed at all that Nigel was part Sri-Lankan. In fact, I was confused by it. Why did he bring it up 18,000 times? Okay, we get the point, you're part Sri-Lankan. So what? Tyra is black, Jay is Hispanic, Miss J is black and apparently a woman too, and Twiggy was the first working class British model (I guess the working class only bred ugly broads before her?). The whole panel has a rich heritage, so do most of the models on the show. So why was Nigel so obsessed with getting across the point of his mixed heritage like it was the biggest breaking celebrity news since TomKat? And, (two part question), why did he do such a crappy job of executing it in a photoshoot?

But what was the one good thing about this week's photoshoot? I finally get to say the words I've longed to say -- Jayla is out! I couldn't be happier if I was rubbing hot melted butter on Jake Gyllenhaal's chest. The fact that she made it past Lisa and Kim is a travesty of reality television. I couldn't be happier that she was gone. No one deserved it more. I still can't get over that blow-up doll face she made during the Wild Boyz photoshoot. Goodbye Jayla, and gooooo Nik! Win it, girl!

SIDENOTE- The three best Top Model quotes of the week have to be:

1) "That is whack!" -Nicole (reincarnating cool lingo circa 1993 to explain to the girls her feelings about being paired with Bre for the sightseeing tour)

2) "Girl, you're short, so you gotta always wear shoes. You gotta wear shoes to bed!" -Tyra to Bre during elimination

3) "Don't ever take some pill that a girl gives you." -Miss J. to a Benadryl (un)fueled Bre      

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