TVSquad

I've dubbed this episode of The OC, Marissa NippleWatch 2005. I don't know if the Nielson ratings went up for last night's episode, but I can surely guarantee that the number of viewers went up by two last night in my household because both my male roommates tuned in. And I don't think they were tuning in to see if Sandy Cohen could pull off running The Newport Group. I think their dedicated viewership has a lot to do with this.

But alas, no nipple flashes in last night's episode. There was some fist fighting though. The douschebag (Volchok? what a silly name) that was caught making out with Johnny's girl was back again this week to try and put the throw down on Ryan. But Ryan wasn't having it. He was doing everything in his power to take Sandy's advice and "think we his head, not with his fists." This is easier said then done as Ryan resorted to putting up a punching bag in his room. Not to practice beating people up, but as a preventative measure from beating people up. That was gay. I know that was gay because when Ryan said that, both my guy roommates responded with "that's gay." So there you go, it's unanimous.

Not wanting Ryan to end things peacefully, Volchok (ha ha ha, it's hard to type that name and not laugh) showed up in the Harbor parking lot and attempted to provoke Ryan to fight by scratching up his SUV (er....the Cohen's SUV) with the words "Lil' Bitch." This almost worked, but then again....it's not Ryan's car and remember he's rich now and monetary possessions are easily fixed or replaced. Which is going to make me go off on a little tangent here -- has Ryan finally embraced being rich? That Volchok guy referred to him as a "rich boy" several times during this episode and Ryan seemed okay with it. Has the Chino finally been washed out of him?

Not quite. At the end of the episode, Volchok kidnaps Marissa (is Marissa a total idiot? Who gets in a strange van with sketchy dudes?) and takes her to the pier. Ryan shows up with Johnny and threatens Volchok with a busted bottle of booze (going for that whole, crazy deranged white boy thing ala Oliver circa Season 2). This works because Volchok backs down and the day is saved.

Meanwhile, in crazy manipulative bitch land....(imagine the Batman logo just coming out and spinning around and taking us to another scene)...Charlotte convinces Julie Cooper to go along with the fake fundraising benefit in order to milk money from the good people of Newport. But in the end, Julie is unable to go through with it because she doesn't want to hurt Kirsten and she thwarts the entire production by telling the attendees to make their checks out directly to the charity. Evil Charlotte is livid and threatens Julie, who then tells Charlotte to get packing because "there is only enough room in this town for ONE manipulative bitch." You are the weakest link, Charlotte, goodbye!

Well, apparently there is room for two manipulative bitches in Newport because we have Taylor, Taylor, Taylor! Ohhhh Taylor, how I love you. Who would have thought that Taylor would have been such a great addition to the cast? Taylor continued her evil plot this week of seducing Seth from Summer. (How does such a "nerdy guy" get so many hot babes fighting over him?) There was a scene where Taylor gauged Summer and Seth's happiness together and their break-up factor and compared the whole thing to the Brad/Jen/Angelina fiasco and it was pretty freaking funny. In order to seduce Seth, Taylor went the super nerd route and bought him a hard to find Japanese DVD. That little move definitely tickled Seth's nerd organ, but not enough where he couldn't fight off Taylor's advances. Summer easily caught on to Taylor's evil intensions and went up to confront her. In classic girl form, Taylor tried to compliment Summer on "how cute she looks." I thought this was hilarious because if you've ever had a girl that is trying to steal your man away, then you know...that's what they always do! They come right up to you and feed you these shallow compliments, but meanwhile they are (not so) secretly trying to steal your tater muffin! That's what evil, trifflin' bitches do. Am I right or am I right? I'm just really intrigued to see where this whole Taylor/Summer/Seth thing is going to go. Summer really comes alive when someone is trying to steal her man away and I just love it.

The OC won't be back for two weeks because of Turkey Day, but don't fret...Chrismukkah is right around the corner.