TVSquad

I've come up with a new work-out regimen to do while watching America's Next Top Model. It's a lot like a drinking game, but it involves tricep curls instead of vodka shots. The premise is simple -- every time Lisa overstates her talent, you do ten push-ups. Every time Kim gossips about someone, you do 25 crunches. Every time you see one of Bre's hood rat tattoos, you do 15 deep leg squats. If we all stick with this routine, then surely by the finale, we'll all look like Tyra Banks. Okay, maybe not -- maybe more like Kim on one of her "fat/less androgynous days"

This week's episode was goofy! And you know what I'm talking about -- the finale! There was a moment when we all thought that Jayla and Nicole were both going home. There was a little bit of confusion, then sadness set in, then acceptance, maybe a few tears for their broken dreams....And then ohhhhh, Tyra was just playin! She was just yanking our chain. No, nobody was eliminated. In fact, they are all going to London next week! Confetti started to fall and those big hat London dudes marched in. I even think I saw Miss J. with little British flags stuck in his nappy hair. It was just a lot of emotion to handle. And did you see those two poor girls, Jayla and Nicole? They were both still in tears. Nicole actually looked like she was going to throw up. I understand that the producers wanted to end with a bang, but I think they were bordering on cruel a little bit. The human psyche is not equipped to handle intense emotional mood swings like that.

Plus, I was thinking about it -- you know they had this all planned since Cassandra eliminated herself. Cause they've been a girl down since then and you know they were going to have to "fix it" eventually. That sorta makes me look at all the old episodes a little bit differently now.

Speaking of crazy bitches (I know we weren't, but we are now)....Lisa, Lisa, Lisa. This week she took herself to a higher level of crazy. Which is good. I'm glad she's "challenging herself." I didn't get the weirdo ghetto/white trash/mullet wig/ugly teeth costume she had on at all. I understand that she said she just trying to "lighten the mood," but I think we are all coming to the realization that she's just trying to get attention. When figuring out the Top Model girls, I always try to compare them to a girl I know in the real world. And I think I've finally figured out Lisa because I know someone just like her in real life. Before, I actually thought she was just wild and crazy, but now I think she's just an attention hog. She's just going to do whatever it takes (act stupid, get drunk, talk crap to other girls) to be the center of attention. And it totally backfired on her this week. She screwed up the audition for Veronica Mars and the diaper thing didn't go over too well at the Wild Boyz photoshoot. She just needs to take it down a few notches and work on her self-esteem issues. You know how people paint themselves into a corner? Well, she's going to crazy herself into a corner.

In regards to this week's Veronica Mars competition, I must say that it was pretty cheesy. They had to make collages about themselves and present them? That's something you had to do the first week of 7th grade English class to introduce yourself to the other kids in the class. In fact, I remember doing the very same thing in the 7th grade and thinking it was cheesy and immature then. It certainly hasn't gained any sophistication in the meantime.

The photoshoot this week was great though because I always enjoy "crazy/pissed off model" photos. Although, for the subject matter, didn't you think this week's photographer was a little bit bland? To put it bluntly, I think she had a stick up her ass. But nevertheless, the photos turned out great. Even Jayla's blow-up doll pic was a hoot. Ha ha ha, she did look like a blow-up doll. And the Wild Boyz (aka Jackass boys) were actually more well-tamed then I thought they'd be. I guess they've been in the business long enough now that they know how to "be professional."

Get ready everybody...next week, the girls are in London!