TVSquad

Sweeps aside, only on Gilmore Girls would a character's dream logic transpose their own mother's voice into Madeline Albright. Following in the tradition of such "big name" Gilmore guest stars as Norman Mailer, the former Secretary of State appeared in bed with Rory Gilmore on Tuesday night, as a vehicle for the voice of Rory's astranged mother Lorelai. As Rory fretted over her upcoming 21st birthday, Albright delivered the quips with the proper cadence ("Walk into Denny's before 5, and you'll get a discount"), but still – was this not the most discordant prime time dream sequence since Maddie Hayes looked in the vanity and saw Dr. Joyce Brothers? More importantly: am I the only one watching this show who is old enough to get Moonlighting references?


The best part of this episode, besides for Rory and Lorelai's identical speech about their now-squashed plans for the former's birthday ("We were going to go to Atlantic City. We were going to sit at the blackjack table and be playing 21 when I turned 21, and then we were going to win and buy 21 things and then there was somethng with 21 guys that would be totally inappropriate..."), was Rory's reaction to her grandparents' clueless attempts to regulate her virginity. Noticing that Rory always seems to have mussed hair when Logan comes aorund, Emily informed Richard, "I think she's getting ready to have RELATIONS with that boy!" Oblivious to the fact that Rory and Logan have been doing it forever, Emily invited a reverend to come to dinner to ... encourage Rory to keep her pants on. God's representative launched into this whole speech about Rory's "ultimate gift". "You can only gift it to one man," he reminded her. "If you gift it to the wrong man, then when the right one comes along, you'll have to gift him a sweater." A remarkably composed Rory then broke the bad news: "I'm afraid the ultimate gift ship has sailed. Awhile ago. It's probably in Fiji by now. [pause] So, have you seen The 40 Year-Old Virgin? I think you might like it." The next day, Emily locks Rory out of the poolhouse.

This episode ended pretty abruptly, with Luke agreeing to be part of Lorelai's creepy sausage-spitting Halloween tableau, which we'll never see, because the show is taking next week off. But, when it comes back on the 8th, guess what? Jess comes back!