TVSquad

So this week we've decided to add CSI to our roster of shows that we review. This insanely sucessful CBS drama is entering it's 6th season and we're gonna kick it off with a bang. Yea, I know, this isn't actually the season premiere, that was last week, and i'm gonna try and get a review up within the next couple of days, just to make this more confusing. We're doing a ChatCast tonight and I know some of you don't like the format, but some of you do. Tonight's hosts are Tom Biro, Jen Segrest and myself, Ryan j Budke. So with that in mind, On with the show!
Tom: I've gotta say, Vegas looks cool in HD, but it's no Miami
Tom: ooh, split screen
Ryan: cool effect
Tom: are we gonna see "both" crimes at the same time?
Jen: the music is a downer
Tom: yeah
Ryan: good though
Tom: don't drop your cell phone in this bar
Jen: everyone sounds like Coldplay
Tom: That's a record - two minutes before the first CSI acronym
Ryan: gsr = gun shot residue
Ryan: I’ve learned so much from CSI
Jen: I know how to poison someone with shampoo!
Ryan: I’m never showering at your place again
Tom: TMI!
Jen: that urine glows in the dark and bitter almond is only smelled if you have the gene
Jen: and how many days it takes to liquefy someone in a trunk in a Las Vegas summer
Ryan: I’ve read that jurors in cases are actually being dismissed if they say that they're CSI fans
Jen: heh
Tom: I'm totally using that if I ever get called for CSI Jury Duty
Jen: well the jurors think that dna tests take 5 min
Ryan: when in actuality it's a couple days
Tom: "only on HBO" - nice David Duchovny reference
Ryan: David Duchovny?
Tom: Ah, Red Shoe Diaries, Taxicab Confessions, that genre of programming HBO loves these days
Ryan: I get ya
Tom: Nikon! go product placement!
Tom: Or maybe just luck on their part.
Ryan: so what'd ya think of your boy Warrick getting married Jen?
Tom: ooh, the split screen returns!
Ryan: hmmm... I wonder if they're related
Tom: I'm voting yes
Ryan: but that seems too blatant to be--- yea, they're related (*note, turns out they weren't at all)
Ryan: boop
Tom: Wow, an iPod commercial...err, iTunes/ROKR. Never would expect one of those.
Ryan: wow, I’ve never seen that commercial
Ryan: is that new?
Ryan: *sarcasm*
Tom: Lunesta! If you watch this and don't have sound, it translates as "keep your windows open, and the radioactive butterflies will come in and make you sleepy!"
Ryan: it looks like the green fairy from Moulin Rouge
Tom: I'm all about shiny Terminator 2 Impala on parking garage roofs.
Jen: Lunesta - we'll just make you wish you were asleep
Jen: from all the hallucinations
Jen: I’m wondering if I'll get to see Warrick naked
Ryan: Jen, I don't think the Warrick-naked thing is gonna happen this week, but I’ve heard rumors of an x-rated sweeps episode
Tom: great, that rumor needs to float around some more.
Ryan: boop
Jen: ooooooooooo
Jen: I'll take a nipple
Jen: that’s fine
Ryan: “six shots in the guy’s chest”
Ryan: “very close or a hell of a shot”
Tom: That Grissom sure is smart.
Jen: someone didn't like him I bet
Jen: hey its Vegas, he could have been lucky!
Ryan: I’d want Grissom on my case
Tom: She's still upset because she isn't going to get to tap Warrick
Jen: hahah , I would be.
Ryan: I liked how they kept the Warrick-Mrs. S.A.G president love line alive
Tom: Only in Vegas can you be an exotic dancer and then work crime scenes - not be in one.
Jen: how does a rusty fence look "fresh?"
Tom: "Come to the Palms!"
Jen: half the women in Vegas who are good lookin are strippers or cocktails waitresses at least part time
Jen: good money in it
Ryan: man, this ChatCast is gonna make no sense without screencaps....
Jen: no one cares
Ryan: *sigh* I’ve gotta get some screencaps....
Jen: people who read these have watched it
Ryan: true
Tom: This new chick just doesn't do it for me. She'll get waxed soon. (crosses fingers)
Jen: I bet he has a boner!
Ryan: “I watch those murder shows”, great line
Jen: she was on before
Ryan: wow, good call
Jen: she went to CSI: NY didn't she?
Tom: I predict CSI: Toledo next
Tom: something like that. Who can keep track
Ryan: “been pitching a tent for 8 hours”, you're supposed to call the dr after 4
Ryan: or so I’ve heard....
Jen: he took pictures on his cell phone and sent it to all his friends
Tom: Sure, sure. Stop reading the box.
Ryan: someone’s in the shower?!?!?!
Ryan: sweet, hot girl
Tom: who leaves that in the shower?!
Ryan: not sweet, vomit
Tom: Marg rockin' the innocent look tonight.
Ryan: as she picks up the shotgun....
Jen: this show is more realistic Vegas than Las Vegas is
Ryan: it's now "America's Playground"
Tom: "Weird, huh?" The dialogue is just so intense.
Jen: despite it raining all the time
Ryan: and snowing
Jen: it does snow
Jen: just not much and it never collects in town
Ryan: yea, but not as often as it happens in one season
Tom: ooh, a hot chick who knows her math
Jen: oh no
Jen: hey we’ll wear coats when it's 60 degrees out though
Jen: seen that
Ryan: eeewwwww the black light....
Jen: they’ve said before most hotel rooms light up like Binions
Tom: A semen-infested bedroom, nice.
Ryan: hell of a view though, must be nice to be a high-roller
Jen: nahhh strip view
Jen: you can get that lucky
Tom: smudges on the window - what do we think those are?
Ryan: are they about waist high?
Tom: Jen brings the experience to the table here
Ryan: "you wanna swab this?" uh... no... I don't
Tom: If we had context, that would be the quote of the ep
Jen: my hubby just tivos back to guess the hotel they are in for real
Ryan: ha, they're in the Montecito... wait... wrong show....
Tom: She's so annoying - is there a chance someone offs her by the end of the show?
Ryan: I’m gonna say yes
Ryan: she's just so bland
Tom: I like the old clique.
Ryan: oh look, I have an accent
Jen: AAAAAAAAAHHHH Monte Cito, unclean! un clean!
Tom: no broken hyoid - they had those on "Bones" earlier in the week, though
Ryan: that's right, they melted from stomach acid
Tom: look out for the minor abrasions on your penis!
Tom: "what's the directions say on that, Ryan?"
Ryan: boop
Tom: Dude, who names a television "Bravia?"
Ryan: how the hell is this TV the first TV for men and women?
Ryan: I don't get that
Tom: You get two remotes?
Ryan: possibly
Ryan: that's just gonna lead to more fights
Jen: yeah I was wondering that
Jen: built-in tivo?
Tom: It allows for equal parts Lifetime Movies and NFL action?
Ryan: possibly
Ryan: I know there are new displays coming out that depending on the angle you look at them at are showing two different things
Tom: Wisp rules
Tom: I've totally watched to see it happen.
Ryan: uh... Royal Caribbean rules (to those Royal Caribbean execs that read our blog, my name is Ryan j Budke from Cincinnati Ohi--)
Tom: I'd love to surf on a boat like that.
Tom: talk about killer app
Jen: I want to do a chat cast on Las Vegas
Jen: just rip it to freaking shreds
Tom: good idea. I was going to ask why
Jen: it's really a comedy show
Ryan: hey, I like Las Vegas
Jen: it's as realistic as strippers’ boobs
Ryan: we should do a ChatCast on it Jen we'd just argue, wait strippers’ boobs are real
Tom: Who greenlighted "Ghost Whisperer," BTW
Jen: yeah no crap
Jen: Medium is SO good
Ryan: boop
Ryan: Medium is poo
Jen: boob
Ryan: ha
Tom: Right, you woke up in the shower and yakked, but you didn't do anything to get there.
Ryan: that girl was messed up, cocaine, pills, alcohol
Jen: I'm a whore, okay, jeese...
Ryan: wow, she has some horse teeth
Tom: "Blinky"? Nice name.
Ryan: I’m known as "Winky" to some of my friends
Tom: TMI!
Tom: I'm totally not missing the Stuff magazine party
Tom: like, OMG
Ryan: like, OMG
Ryan: whoa... scary
Tom: He's like...Dead?
Tom: Julian Harper? Not - THE - Julian Harper
Tom: I love DNA samples - this show wouldn't be the same without Watson & Crick
Ryan: my dna? just check all over the room
Tom: ba dum dum
Tom: Jorja Fox pulls that lengthy end to her sentences, almost valley girl
Jen: okay Sarah, now act all indignant
Tom: what's with that?
Tom: what's with the lipstick in the morgue?
Jen: the morgue is all a days’ work
Ryan: oh holy crap I have such an eye thing that gave me goosebumps
Tom: There's a run on Laotians!
Ryan: you know what they say about people with gaps in their teeth?
Tom: Ummm, no
Ryan: the gap tooth things, they say that they're more sexually active
Ryan: like crazy sexually active
Ryan: i.e.: Madonna
Jen: ewww rewwww
Ryan: hey I just report the pseudo-facts
Jen: just had a visual of David Letterman having sex with Madonna - bad! bad!
Ryan: I have to wash my eyes out, I’ll be right back
Ryan: nope, didn't work, thanks jen
Jen: hehheeh
Jen: hey I gave you music today
Jen: I’m forgiven
Ryan: true dat, thanks darlin
Ryan: back to the show, “if you have to ask, it's just friends”
Ryan: if I had a nickel for every time I heard that....
Tom: Marg looks not so hot in HD, gotta say.
Tom: it's no wonder Grissom is mad single.
Ryan: yea, some SNL hosts are a little upset that they're gonna be in hi-def this year
Jen: well she is 40ish
Ryan: gotta admit she looks damn good for her age
Tom: I’ll second that emotion
Jen: and a movie screen is better?
Tom: at this point, yes.
Jen: your pores being 10 feet high?
Tom: something about the overall resolution.
Ryan: cd in your eye, yep, gonna have nightmares
Tom: hahaha
Ryan: it sounds like she's saying "Le Oceans"
Jen: I like Brass
Ryan: hey it's the creepy guy from The Pretender
Tom: Brass is amusing trying to pronounce names that are foreign
Ryan: Brass is the rock of this show
Ryan: plus what's cooler than a cop named Brass
Ryan: get the brass... uh the brass? or The Brass?
Tom: Is this where we flip from ethic group to ethnic group from floor to floor?
Jen: is there where I put-up a pic of my upper GI scope?
Ryan: apparently
Ryan: hey it's Donny Jones from My Name Is Earl
Tom: "I want to be hot, but I'm just not pulling it off."
Jen: that was funny
Tom: Like OMG I'm so caught
Ryan: boop
Ryan: this is Paul
Ryan: he is a Knight
Ryan: he kicks ass
Jen: pretty much
Jen: and he's been on The Simpsons!
Ryan: yea, they're may not be a cooler human being on the face of the planet
Tom: Oh, now Cinderella is the best fairytale?
Jen: it was when Disney was good and not the suck
Ryan: I swear it's been on DVD before
Jen: it has they yank it back and forth every few years
Tom: Dude, this guy is so typecast as "chubbs" from the Capital One commercials
Ryan: yup
Ryan: he also was the "Woooooo" guy on that one VW commercial
Tom: Tom Brady is overrated.
Ryan: yea, Brady sucks
Ryan: sorry to our New England readers
Ryan: but your boy's a punk
Jen: red chucks
Jen: Oh only me and Ry get that (*note, we’re both from the Cincinnati area and get local commercials together)
Ryan: lol
Ryan: I’ve got a pair of those
Ryan: and black ones
Ryan: and "cream" ones
Jen: I had a pair of metallic multicolored chucks
Ryan: no shit?
Jen: thy were a size too small
Tom: I have black on black ones
Ryan: sweeeeet
Jen: I wore them anyway god damn it
Ryan: have you seen the website where you can design your own
Tom: yeah - good stuff
Ryan: can't let a good pair of shows go unused
Ryan: should we put this stuff in the post
Ryan: boop
Tom: These re-enactments are just soooo much better than "Unsolved Mysteries"
Ryan: and more fuzzy for your enjoyment
Jen: her shirt is too tight
Ryan: no such thing
Jen: her buttons would disagree
Tom: I've got to say, being buried alive definitely takes a bit of personality out of your character.
Tom: cue Chris Deburgh
Jen: EWWW EWWWW
Jen: Chris Deburgh
Jen: long story of an internet troll and a Deburgh obsession
Ryan: Chris Deburgh?
Ryan: I’m too lazy to Google at the moment
Tom: "The Lady In Red"
Ryan: is it required that that song is played at every prom?
Jen: they need to play it during Battelstar
Jen: Six always wears red
Ryan: that she does
Ryan: by the way finally watched the finale yesterday, it ruled
Jen: the mid season? yeah
Ryan: yea
Tom: What, you mean the police in Vegas don't have a translator who speaks Lao
Tom: She looks...used up...
Ryan: ridden hard and put away wet
Ryan: I so can't include that…
Tom: Here's the cash for killing our boy
Tom: This girl sounds like...13
Ryan: looks like 14
Jen: she might be 19
Ryan: may be
Tom: well, glad we agree
Tom: STALKER!
Tom: ahh, a school trip
Ryan: and at least they say she's supposed to be in high school
Tom: most schools travel to Vegas for a speech contest
Ryan: at least she looks like she's a halfway decent actress
Ryan: she's got the quivering lip thing down
Tom: that's for sure
Jen: it's a girl thing
Jen: we can all do it while crushing your will to live
Ryan: that you can
Ryan: and mine looks like a shriveled up aluminum can
Tom: boring CSI actress! Get Away!
Tom: "I'm the manager, and you're a boring average chick. Ha"
Ryan: Julian's manager/ex-wife isn't all that interesting either
Tom: She's got a little more flair than Miss Pullingbuttons
Ryan: yea
Ryan: is that girl in the credits?
Tom: Marg does her hair between every scene
Ryan: boop
Tom: that was the only scene worth paying attention to so far.
Jen: oooh
Ryan: yea, you can tell because none of us were... uh.. talking about it
Ryan: this ChatCast is going down in flames...
Jen: Emeril... is he still alive?
Jen: his food is good though
Jen: eaten at both his Vegas joints
Tom: so what do we know - the "translator/boss" guy is "hiding something" according to our psychologist person?
Ryan: uh... I think the psychologist person was an actual translator
Tom: ahh, okay. now that makes sense.
Ryan: thus she knew what he was actually saying
Tom: it's good to see they finally outsourced
Ryan: hahaha
Tom: wonder if she's a part-time stripper
Tom: errr exotic dancer
Ryan: good save
Ryan: Threshold aka CBS' alien show this season
Ryan: not to be confused with Invasion or Surface
Tom: it might be the best one
Tom: Surface is okay
Tom: Invasion is a train wreck
Jen: I hear Threshold doesn’t suck
Ryan: Invasion is definitely the worst
Tom: (yeah, I know Bob, I still need to write it up, I'm a slacker)
Tom: It might be the next show to die
Tom: I don't think I've ever cared less about characters more than on "Invasion"
Ryan: it's getting killer ratings so probably not
Ryan: it's getting a great lead-in from Lost
Jen: bleh
Tom: well, the post-lost programming would get good ratings if they ran an hour of Jem & The Holograms
Jen: Lost is so good
Ryan: Jem & The Holograms...
Jen: OMG, I was joking about Jem today
Ryan: that takes me back
Jen: some telemarketer called and called me Jem
Jen: I said "I’ve never been in a fake rock band"
Ryan: hahahahaha
Ryan: boop
Jen: she had no idea what I was on about
Jen: boob
Tom: poop
Ryan: “I told you what he said”
Ryan: LIAR!
Tom: that was strange, the sound went out
Tom: I knew the rice paddy reference would show up sooner or later
Ryan: it's a racial slur requirement
Tom: Brass is gonna tack this guy up quick fast in a hurry
Ryan: go Brass
Tom: Dude, who falls asleep at a microscope
Ryan: um... I may have once or twice
Ryan: wait that wasn't a microscope
Tom: "Are you baggin' Z's right now?"
Tom: Oh.
Jen: yeah it is
Jen: mmm Warrick
Tom: Jen and Warrick, sittin' in a tree
Ryan: K I S S I N G
Jen: you look hot, take off that shirt
Jen: oh yeahhhh
Tom: diagnosing time of death
Ryan: from a sock
Tom: first comes rigor mortis, then comes rotting
Tom: err, never mind.
Ryan: then comes Grissom with a...
Ryan: what rhymes with "rotting"
Jen: besotting?
Tom: Greg seems WAYYY too bored
Ryan: I like the progression of Greg within the show
Jen: yeah
Tom: me too -
Ryan: he's one that's actually shown some serious growth in the show
Ryan: not just cosmetic changes
Jen: yeah
Tom: I think we should have had more episodes a la "Boomtown" where you see the show from Grissom's perspective, with no audio.
Jen: Warrick too somewhat
Ryan: yea, and Grissom slowly but surely
Tom: oooh, an unlimited supply of hot women
Ryan: *sigh* Boomtown....
Tom: dude, this guy wasn't "down" at all
Ryan: not like that
Ryan: so do we believe this guy?
Tom: This guy could audition for the next "Coneheads" movie
Jen: ahaha
Ryan: hey, my hair's like that sometimes, whether I like it or not
Jen: Catherine is all blonde now
Tom: yeah
Jen: I liked her better as redhead
Tom: she looked good there, though. Ryan said he would tap that
Ryan: abso-freakin-lutely
Jen: hell I prolly would too and I'm totally not a lesbian
Ryan: you rule Jen
Tom: YOU SPEAK ENG-EFFING-LISH!?
Tom: That should be written into all scripts now
Tom: whole episodes going by with some character who you think doesn't understand anything, but gets it all
Ryan: like House the other night
Tom: Yep
Ryan: <-watches a lot of TV.
Ryan: so he did strangle himself
Ryan: boop
Tom: so what do we think folks?
Ryan: good episode
Tom: I thought there would be more "linkage"
Jen: eh, it’s good
Ryan: part of the appeal of CSI is that there's no big story
Ryan: you can pick up and drop single episodes at will without feeling like you missed anything
Tom: but I liked how they split the screen, it was kind of fun.
Jen: but not sitting me up in my chair
Ryan: but I like that they tied in last week to last season
Tom: Definitely.
Ryan: I liked the ala 24 split screen as well
Tom: The neat thing about the split was that it rolled up, then went one way or another, didn’t transition out
Jen: we need to look up this Bravia thing for TV squad
Ryan: sounds like an idea Jen
Tom: No character development this week
Jen: nah
Ryan: but they're never "huge" on character development
Tom: true, true
Ryan: they're kind of the anti-"ER" where the characters are the forefront and not the job, CSI’s all about the job and a little tease with the characters
Jen: I keep waiting to see mistress heather come back
Jen: but she's on The OC now
Ryan: everyone except for Ryan and Sandy from The OC have been on CSI
Ryan: random factoid of the day
Tom: that's a good fact
Tom: one that I’d never know, haven't ever watched The OC
Jen: Sam Sam
Jen: watching ER
Jen: she makes Abby look low maintenance
Tom: haha
Ryan: alright, peace out puppies, I think that's a wrap
Jen: see yaaaa
Tom: Ciao!
Ryan: later