TVSquad

Welcome to The Daily Show's special week-long report: "Evolution Schmevolution". This week, the team goes deep into the treacherous bowels of the evolution/creationism debate and promise to find an answer by Thursday. Next week, a court case from Dover, Pennsylvania will decide whether intelligent design -- which President Bush supports -- is religion or science. This is an ongoing debate of whether we're made of fairy tales or random globs of cells.

Whether you believe or not, you've got to admit that creation myths have allowed man to laugh at and ridicule other cultures for thousands of years (Haha, those Aztecs are so full of crap -- we should kill them). The most widely accepted creation myth in our country is that humans were made from clay and that a woman sprung forth from a man's rib. It just make sense.

 The father of evolution, Charles Darwin, published The Origin of Species over a hundred years ago. This publication pretty much said that man was not special. We eat, fight, reproduce just like all the other animals. There's nothing we can do that other animals cannot do... Even those stupid dogs can play poker. It's a tough debate, kids. One side says that you're primitive and the other side says you're godless.

To go more in-depth, Ed Helms reports from Dayton, Tennessee, an old site of the Evolutionary War. It was here that the Scopes "Monkey" Trial went down and it looks like the entire town has dedicated themselves to preserving the old-timey feel. Surely, they're acting because there's no way they can still be so bent on the issue. Helms speaks to a resident about her views and she gives an alarmingly firm stand against evolution. All Helms can manage to do is quietly add, "That's good stuff". He has a good laugh with the resident about giving sodomites a good whipping (ahh, sodomites... what would we do without you?). Helms is very excited about being here because there's no way this can all be real... if it was, it'd be fucking terrifying.

It's time to take a quick break from the topic of evolution and move on to the second installment of "Meet the F**kers". The Katrina situation is slowly getting better because residents are starting to be allowed re-entry, electricity is partially restored, and frat guys are demanding to see some tits. Plus, FEMA head Michael Brown is out of here! Huzzahs all around from the crowd. Seems like both Brown and Michael Chertoff have been on edge lately... Chertoff's been particularly snippy towards reporters. Silly man. As for slightly less prominent figures, it's time to "Meet the Little F**kers". Senator Mary Landrieu recently gave an angry speech about the response and the later appeared on FOX News to say that it's not the time for finger-pointing. Wow. That's fully worthy of a slow clap. New Orleans mayor Ray Nagin has been questioned about the pictures of several buses under water... buses that could've been used to move people out of the city before the hurricane. Nagin response seems annoyingly laid back. We'll see if he's so calm at the next election.

Tonight's guest is Chris Mooney, writer of The Republican War on Science. The basic premise of his new book is that the current administration is misusing science. It's not as though this is anything new for a government to do but this administration seems to be doing it a lot more. The scientific community -- which consists of people with names like Yergen Ransomwitz -- say that it's easy to dismiss a lot of scienitific research because it's not 100% clear. A lot of it will never be 100% clear because, after all, it is science. What the administration can do about things like global warming and stem cell research is take the information that's been given and work with it, rather than dismiss it for having holes. Mooney worries that one day scientific debates will rely solely upon who's presenting it (kind of like OJ Simpson hiring good people to say, "DNA means nothing!" and winning).

Prepare for tomorrow! The "Evolution Schmevolution" report continues with guest Kurt Vonnegut (totally calls for an "OMG!"). Now here it is, your Moment of Zen: A recording about homosexual marriage and crimes against nature... Sounds like something from 1925. Believe it or not, it was recorded last year. Scary.