TVSquad

Hey look! It's another week of The Daily Show! I think tonight's episode is super-special because the guest is former TDS correspondent, Steve Carell. He's my all-time favorite correspondent so I'm extremely glad he's on the show.

Okay, all my fangirlness aside, there's a war in Iraq (remember?) and they were supposed to have a constitution ready by today (Rumsfeld said there'd be one, anyway, and everything Rummy says is gold, y'know). Well, it turns out that they've missed the deadline and now they want another week to complete it. They had over two weeks to fix up an entire constitution for a country. Now they're just being needy. Geez. Jon Stewart sighs and then says, "Okay, you can turn it in a week. But let me say this: The best you can do -- the best -- is a B".

 
In Crawford, Texas, the president is still there as the world is falling apart. He's busy donning his stetson and aviator shades, attacking the brush for the past few weeks. Cindy Sheehan, grieving mother of the late Army Specialist, Casey Sheehan, has been camping outside Bush's ranch, demanding some closure to her son's death. She says that if Bush thinks it's such a noble cause, he should send his two daughters in. Stewart looks startled and then nervously says, "In all due respect... we're trying to win this thing". Sheehan is not alone though. She has gained many supporters. Even Lord of the Rings star Viggo Mortenson stopped by to offer his support, taking valuable time away from his nearby beer and stubble farm. Bush is pretty much ignoring her cause, opting to take bike rides, nap, and read (uh... read? Hm).

Senior Western White House correspondent Ed Helms is live from Crawford, Texas. He says that Bush is the real victim here. He's trying to enjoy his first vacation in four whole months and this lady is trying to ruin it. And it's not like he didn't bother to talk to Sheehan. His cars actually passed by during a burger run... so... technically he acknowledged her... sort of. Sheehan seems to be most annoyed with Bush's electrical parade on Main Street. It's painful to be so tantalizingly close.

We now jump into Indecision 2006, the Senate race. In New York, Jeanine Pirro is trying to run against Hillary Clinton. She starts off a brutal speech on Clinton's -- wait, wait a second... She takes about thirty agonizing seconds searching her notes for dirt on Clinton. She's probably building up to something big, right? Keep looking, keep looking. She finally looks up desperately to the people offscreen. "Do you have page ten?" So awkward. Stewart sheepishly offers her some of his doodling papers. He then adds, "That was Jeanine Pirro observing 32 seconds of silence in memory of the premature death of her campaign". Katherine Harris of Florida is also vying for a Senate spot. She appeared on Hannity & Colmes and attempted to win votes through a charismatic, flirtatious way (I also liked how she stood at a sort of three-quarters stance like a contestant from a beauty pageant). Stewart points out that this may not have worked out anyway because Harris' looks qualified her to fill in for KISS's Ace Frehley when he was getting cleaned up in the 80s. Ouch. But attractive or not, I don't know how well Harris' "You're my favorite adopted constituent" is supposed to work as a pick-up.

Time for tonight's guest! Whee! It's an actor by the name of Steve Carell, star of the upcoming The 40 Year-Old Virgin. They show a clip and then Carell comes on, wearing a suit and tie just like from the ol' days of being on the show. I'm grinning like an idiot but Carell looks very serious. He and Stewart awkwardly shake hands and then sit down, staring at each other. This uncomfortable exchange goes on for about a minute, complete with lots of awkward drink sipping and nodding. I miss Carell's dead-on deadpan. Stewart finally breaks the silence with, "Do you have a report to file?" to which Carell answers, "I don't file reports anymore. I do movies". After a few moments, Stewart wails, "Why did you leave us?!" and cries into his hands. Carell gets up and holds Stewart in his arms. Adorable (in my notes, I typed out 'Aww' with way too many W's to count). Stewart composes himself and then says (jokingly) that Carell wasn't that awesome on The Daily Show but now he's in the new Virgin movie and he's fantastic. Carell said that he felt like a dead weight on TDS and once he got away from the daily aspect, things started looking up. Plus, after he left, the show picked up a lot of Emmys. Carell then tries to make a break for the slightly more serious, warning Stewart that he might make him cry. He tries to start saying something but then gets flustered when Stewart randomly starts rubbing his nipples. Carell then rubs his own nipples to counter it. Okay okay, now we get serious. Carell says that he owes all of his success to Jon and the show. Aww. He's such a lovely guy. At the end of the interview, the two guys hug and they run an old clip from back when Carell was still on the show and he ate a spoonful of Crisco. Ahh, I remember that. Good times.

It's going to be tough trying to top this interview. Anyway, here's your Moment of Zen: Katherine Harris talking about how excited she is.