TVSquad

Pilot season can be both exciting and depressing. Exciting because, well, the prospect of new shows is always exciting, and depressing because most of these pilots will be made but never be seen by anyone except some network execs and maybe (maybe) the people who starred in them. Variety has a list of the drama pilots currently vying for a spot on the fall 2005 schedule. Let's take a look at some of the more interesting concepts.

ABC:

• The Night Stalker, a remake of two TV movies and a TV show I cherish from my youth, is being put together by Frank Spotnitz, of X-Files fame. So far, so good...but they hire the Irish-born Stuart Townsend and team him with a female sidekick? Eh, this goes against the entire concept of the original (lone reporter fighting evil, no one believes him) and is not a good omen.
• Soccer Moms are moms that are also private eyes. Sounds so goofy that it could work.
• Invasion is from Shaun Cassidy, and is about the weird happenings that happen to a small Florida town after a massive hurricane. If Disney World is taken over by aliens from another dimension or is invaded by sea creatures, this could be fun (hey, could happen, since ABC and Disney are in the same company).

CBS

• The Commuters has a short, blunt plot: three childhood friends commute to NYC. Hopefully this is a daily commute, and not one long commute from Seattle to NYC that will take the entire season. Or maybe that would be even funnier.
• Untitled John Gray Project. Based on James Van Praagh's work. Which means it's all fiction.
• Untitled Diamond/Weissman Project. I love these "untitled" shows. I will give one of the networks a gift certificate to the restaurant of their choice if they actually have the balls to name their show Untitled Diamond/Weissman Project. This one is about a family that juggles work and home. Wow, this must be a family of giants, with huge hands.
• Love Monkey has Ed's Tom Cavanagh as a single record exec adjusting to his friends getting married. Based on the novel.
• And the weirdest CBS pilot goes to 3 Lbs, which is about brain surgeons. Looks like they want to do to brain surgery what Nip/Tuck did for plastic surgery. They should have named it Slice/Jiggle.

FOX

• Untitled Chais/Rake Project. "Attorney has nervous breakdown." That's the summary for this new drama.
• Briar and Graves, which is described as "The X-Files gets religion." Of course, if NBC's similar-sounding Revelations tanks, expect this one to be canned quickly.
• Hollywood Vice is a rather redundant title.
• Untitled Jablonski/Katims Project has one of my favorite plot summaries: "Staff at a fertility clinic." Or maybe I just have a dirty mind.

NBC

• Almost all of the drama pilots are from the NUTS studio, and I have no idea who that is, but one of their shows is The Book Of Daniel, about a priest who talks to Jesus. Any resemblence to Joan of Arcadia is intentional purely coincidential.
• Jerry Bruckheimer has E-Ring, which sounds like The West Wing meets CSI meets ER.
• Inconceivable is about the staff at a fertility clinic. I kid you not. That's the new hip theme for the 2005 season. Years ago it was comedies about a group of friends in coffee shops or restaurants, and the last few years have been forensic shows. This fall, fertility clinics! And with a titlte like Inconceivable, this better be a comedy.

UPN

• Crazy. Which, amazingly, is not from the NUTS studio. It's about a female psychiatrist.

WB

• Untitled Bran Kern Project is about a mermaid in manhattan. They should just go ahead and name it that, Mermaid in Manhattan.
• Untitled Jonathan Shapiro Project is about a 17 year old lawyer. Also known as Doogie Howser, Attorney At Law.
• Pepper Dennis is about a news reporter who juggles work and family. Hey, maybe that's the theme this season: juggling!