TVSquad

No roses, no limos, no rules?  Not quite. The new Bachelor promises to switch things up but it all comes down to the same old thing—girls gone catty. Charlie O'Connell (basically the poor woman's version of his older hunkster brother Jerry) seems like a decent enough guy but a bit too awshucksy to be every woman's dream man. Nevertheless, the ladies are appropriately swoony and determined to outwit, outplay, outlast...oh wait, isn't that some other show?


The show starts with an ambush on the ladies, giving them five minutes to get ready to meet their new quarry. How fast can mascara be applied? You'd be surprised. The girls refer to the surprise as an ordeal. How traumatizing to be without full face.  

The first activity is a round of speed dating. Some of the girls go for broke, cuddling up immediately.  Others seemed more reticent. How does a girl capture Charlie's heart? It looks like showing him a scar is a good place to start. Stripping down to your bikini has its charms but combine it with bad poetry and the Bachelor will give you another flower instead (lilies have no value here).  

Charlie has to eliminate five girls right away. As usual, brunettes rank high in the elimination, in fact all of Charlie's first five are dark haired. The group dates aren't chosen by Charlie but by the girls, which gives ample opportunity for squabbles to develop. Aggressive girls seem to do well, some can't handle the pressure and the predictable tears and drama follow. Geitan tearfully leaves and then slinks back the next day but finds herself eliminated anyway. The girls get the chance to talk amongst themselves and to Charlie before the final roses are handed out and harsh words are exchanged. In the end, Charlie proves to be savvy enough to let some of the wild cards go.

Understatement of the night:  "He has something for blondes."  

Best line from Charlie:  "A lot of these girls are easy on the eyes, some of them aren't so easy on the ears." 

Next Week:  Someone goes blonde, renewed cattiness and someone gets sent home before their one-on-one date.